Homemade things are always a little bit more special.
Remember when you were younger and you would come in from the cold during winter’s shorter months and get a nose full of mom’s homemade fixins cooking on the stove? Boy, that was like heaven. Even today, the smell of macaroni, cardboard and a powdery orange cloud of what is supposed to be cheese takes me back. Oh sure, it said “E-Z Mac” on the box, but we knew better. All that stirring mom had done was out of love and purely from the heart.
Home Made Couples 13, and the entire series from Homemade Media for that matter, is much like those incredible homemade meals from way back when. The films give you a rare and candid glimpse into the sex lives of real couples just like you and me. The men and women you’ll find putting their talents on display are not actors and have not been corrupted by the soulless pornography machine. Instead, they are homegrown honeys, high school sweethearts and long-term companions handpicked to ensure a freshness that you simply won’t find from any of the big boys. Even the shoots are done with a single camera and the most rudimentary of lighting kits. The presence of natural light is a necessary addition to make a few of the scenes flow. At the same time, said sunlight creates moments of silhouette sex, but the overall result is no doubt gratifying.
Like almost all of the participants in this edition, Chloe Johnston and Tyson Miller are first-timers. They can barely answer the interviewer’s questions before the compulsion to suck face overwhelms them both. While the interview sessions are brief and very non-intrusive, it becomes very apparent that once these two engage in smooch-fu, there are to be no more questions. Chloe is beautiful. Her body is scrumptious, though you must be patient for her to molt out her denim mini-skirt and top. One peek at her smooth pussy and perfect tits will get you revved up for what it about to come. Though her hand appears to have a firm grip around Tyson’s shaft, her blowjob technique is very gentle and methodical. It’s only when she sits on his cock, however, that you get the first hint of an ecstasy-laced whimper. Up until then, she has been mostly silent. Her lovely curved hips glide in serpentine fashion while she rides his cock, and the shots of her ass from behind and tits from the side as she fucks are wonderfully captured. The scene doesn’t offer much in the way of close-ups, but when he cums all over her lovely tits you’re in the ballpark and it is well worth your time.
Kori Lynn and Matt have been together a year and they admit they’re just having fun. They sure don’t show it during the Q&A session and, in fact, don’t seem too into each other at all. It could be just a case of nerves, but those disappear fairly quickly once they start pawing at each other. Kori’s pussy is tiny and adorable and plainly in view thanks to some great depilatory work. The two don’t waste much time with foreplay, hitting the mish position before you can say “hideous chest tats.” They show off their stuff in doggie, RCG and then back to mish, and that is followed by a meager load into her open mouth.
Alexis and Tyler are from Texas and New York, respectively. The states are worlds apart in distance and in culture and it shows. This is probably the most mismatched couple in the whole film and that will be obvious from the get-go. It smacks of a rebellious Bible-thumper exacting revenge against her strict parents and rigidly dogmatic upbringing with the closest hipster flame-out she could find. While Tyler admits he’s done a solo video, she’s a first-timer. But, first time on film does not mean first time. She’s obviously been sneaking around the rectory giving a blowjob or two to parishioners as she is very deft with her hands and mouth, employing a two-handed technique. At this point, you’ll start asking yourself, “What’s with these amateurs and their lovely natural and very perky tits?” All the women thus far have had gorgeous racks and you’ll wonder if the trend will continue. Alexis certainly has a nice pair in addition to her tight ass, which gets plenty of…um…face time when she plunks down onto her boyfriend’s cock. And there are some close-ups, which helps to at least offset some of the backlighting issues that crop up at times. (Note to aspiring filmmakers: curtains and duvateen are your friends!) She returns to her knees to take a hefty load into her mouth and some stray streams into her left eye. What’s with these emo dudes? They weigh a buck thirty and all of it, apparently, is jizm weight.
Nikki and Chad have been in a five-year relationship and are currently engaged to be married. Isn’t that sweet? They may as well get the fucking on film now because in a year or two down the road they’ll need to watch it to remember what it was like. Nikki must know that deep down because she pulls out all the stops, sucking, stroking and nibbling his nutsack during her oral presentation. She even throws in some dirty talk like a pro. Once she slips out of her slinky garb you see –no surprise here- another amazing pair of tits. (Porn “stars” take note: these are what tits should look like.) Nikki has all the moves and knows the porn drill: suck, doggie, RCG, mish and take a cumshot up her torso and onto her sweet tits.
Last but not least, there is Kitty Duval and Caesar Augustus. Caesar Augustus? Really? Not the best name for a home grown sort of vibe, but it’ll have to do. The real Caesar ushered in Pax Romana or Roman Peace. It lasted two hundred years. This dude ushers in a piece of ass. He is done with it in roughly twenty minutes. Loose connection, we know. Kitty likes to suck balls as did Nikki and, again, check out the tits. They are natural wonders to be sure. Kitty’s pale skin and small, moist slit look scrumptious and apparently taste just as good too as Pompey the Elder goes at it from the front and from the flank in 69. It would be nice to see Kitty from the rear a bit longer, and in a bit more luminous setting, but at least the camera wanders to the back on several occasions to give you a glimpse of her pussy and ass as she gets eaten out from behind. Things become a bit more visible when she climbs on top to go for a spin in CG. In the concluding shot, she jacks Octavian the Careless in an overhanded fashion, but he fails to tell her he’s cumming, blasting a shot up her nose and onto her face. He blurts out “Sexy!” in his moment of release, but you tell us if her face says the same. Still, she seems pleased with her handiwork.
For those of you into natural tits, you will be in awe of the consistency you find from scene to scene. Each and every one of these girls has a postcard-worthy rack. The great thing about being a woman too is that, as a first-timer, the nervousness is never that apparent aside from some extended bouts of silence. It’s different for guys. The fleshy protuberance knows all and makes it clear when trepidation is present. A little extra fluffing, however, gets them where they need to be. They’re not professionals, so cut them some slack. It takes a pretty big pair (metaphorically) to fuck on film. Give credit where credit is due.
HMC 13 is a great addition to the series and a very welcome change of pace from the metrosexual nancy boys and the artificially in-fem-inated floosies that skulk around the typical porn sets.
Homemade things are always a little bit more special.
Running Time: 90 minutes
Released: 09/2010
Director and Rodnievision studio owner Rodney Moore is kind of the nerd king of porn, and we mean that in a good way. This lanky, somewhat goofy guy was trying to make it in the music business when he discovered that his true calling in life was in the adult industry. As a producer of porn and as a performer, Rodney is the Everyman of the business whose movies are always just a little offbeat and never too flashy, but full of girls who have no shame about getting freaky for the cameras. This is extreme porn that’s as fun for the women as it is for the guys jerking off to it.
Seattle Hairy Girls is one of several Rodnievision series devoted to hirsute honeys. It started out in May 2005, when Rodney fit two movies full of unshaven amateur babes from the Emerald City on one disc – girls like goth-punk pinup Stacey Stax and redhead Eve. Over the last four and a half years, the series has amassed a collection of memorable scenes. If hairiness is your thing, then you also must have a look at the Horny Hairy Girls series and, for some voyeuristic all-girl action, “Hairy Girls in Love.”
April Flores, voluptuous redhead Eden 38DD, and Rubenesque Asian beauty Kelly Shibari in series including Scale Bustin’ Babes and Whale Watching. Rodney also loves thin women. “Milf and Honey 15” is an interracial, intergenerational festival of sucking and fucking whose stars include the recently retired mature sex symbol Rayveness, busty Claire Dames, and young Peruvian-American hottie Jynx Maze. Jynx is also among the hotties we see in “Goo Girls 40,” a cum-drenched extravaganza that also stars rising starlet Ashli Orion. Clearly, Rodney has an eye for the hot young things who are sure to make a splash in the biz. Don’t be surprised if the next Christy Canyon or Gianna Michaels is among the naturally endowed beauties slutting it up in “Top Heavy Tarts 16,” one of Rodney’s most 
incredible new movies. Maybe it’s Effie Daniels, the cute, bespectacled strawberry blonde on the cover. It’s her first movie – may it be one of many to come.
