Andy San Dimas

‘Drive’ With Bobbi Starr, Andy San Dimas to Play Cannes

CANNES, FranceDrive, a dark horse entry that features two adult performers, will be screened in a competition slot at the upcoming Cannes Film Festival, which runs May 11-22. As reported by AVN last year, the Nicolas Winding Refn-directed thriller includes the mainstream debut of adult stars Bobbi Starr and Andy San Dimas, who share the screen with Hollywood luminaries Ryan Gosling, Albert Brooks, Bryan Cranston and Christina Hendricks.

“I’m the wife of an abusive husband, and my character is horribly fucked up and trapped in an abusive marriage,” Starr told AVN in October. “I have battered wife syndrome. Basically, one of the main characters comes in, witnesses me and my husband fighting several times, and then one night he just gets fed up and threatens to kill my husband.”

At the time, San Dimas did not know much about her character—neither she nor Starr had shot their scenes yet—but was thrilled to have the gig.

“I auditioned for this movie a few months ago,” she told Peter Warren. “About 40 different industry babes were there auditioning as well. I walked in a little intimidated—I’d never read for a mainstream part like this. I memorized my script in five minutes and gave it my best. I honestly thought I had no chance, especially when I didn’t hear back from them for so long. When Spieg called me with the news, I was stoked!”

“Spieg” is talent agent Mark Spiegler, who represents both performers.

According to IndieWire, Drive is “a minimalist crime thriller based on the novel by the great James Sallis, about a Hollywood stunt driver who moonlights as a getaway driver.” The editors of the site are clearly big fans of Danish director Refn, who “made a massive impression with the one-two punch of Bronson and Valhalla Rising a couple of years back.”

The site continues, “The script, by Hossein Amini, is lean and mean, and Gosling’s description of the project as ‘Blue Velvet meets Purple Rain‘ only piqued our interest further, and that was before this morning’s announcement that the film would premiere in competition at Cannes.”

The editors also were pleased to hear that Cliff Martinez, a onetime drummer for the Red Hot Chilli Peppers and longtime collaborater with director Steven Soderbergh, is writing the score for Drive.

More information about Cannes and the Drive screenings can be found on the festival website.

See more of Bobbi Starr and Andy San Dimas now!

Simpsons, the XXX Parody: Marge and Homer’s Sex Tape

Simpsons, the XXX Parody: Marge and Homer's Sex TapeMainstream pop culture observers seem shocked that a “Simpsons” porn parody exists, but those of us who write about smut for a living are only surprised that it took this long. “Simpsons, the XXX Parody: Marge and Homer’s Sex Tape” was worth the wait. Every fan so inclined to watch a porn version of the show is probably most interested in seeing how they portray that blue-haired siren, Marge Simpson. You’ll be happy to know that XBIZ Female Performer of the Year Andy San Dimas is playing the part. Even if you aren’t a fan yet, you’ll be glad she was cast. Beyond the main event, there are sex scenes with other favorite Springfield characters as well.

As the movie begins, Homer (Anthony Rosano, but we see little of him because he’s usually behind the camera) trades the sex tape he and Marge made for a bag of doughnuts. The rest of the movie is a look at the illicit footage itself. Marge, posing in front of a full-length mirror with the camera behind her, feels frisky about the sexual possibilities that arise thanks to the new camcorder. Something else arises in Homer’s pants once he finally realizes Marge is telling him she wants to make a sex tape. She lets her hair down and starts to blow him, her dirty talk adding lots of excitement. Just as it’s getting hot, Homer’s attention wanders to the TV, where a McBain porno has just started playing.

After shooting the bad guy, McBain (Evan Stone) heroically lays female sidekick Nancy (Atlanta Hawks dancer turned porn star Briana Blair) on a tabletop and gives it to her just like you would want everybody’s favorite yellow action hero to do. Nancy squeals in pleasure with his manly thrusts and begs for his load on her daffodil-colored ass. When he’s done, there’s no time for cuddling because there are more Korean plutonium thieves to hunt down. Nobody in porn could have been better cast as McBain than Evan Stone.

Homer films Marge while she’s dusting and talks her into flashing some lemony ass cheek, against her better judgment – she worries that a neighbor could walk in at any minute. Sure enough, Moe (James Deen, looking better than cartoon Moe but definitely sounding the part) barges in and finds out Marge wears a magenta thong under that green dress! Moe is here to borrow the camcorder for a hot date with real estate agent Cookie Kwan (Asia Zo). Never mind that Cookie thinks she’s there to appraise his apartment, because Moe talks her into fucking him by lying that he’s actually rich and he only looks ugly because he wears a mask to hide his true good looks. Gold-digging, ambitious Cookie can’t jump his bones fast enough after that. He rubs her clit while playing with her perky tits and she gives him a hot blowjob. Then Cookie proves that not only is she number one on the west side, but also number one on her back side, front side… any side on which she takes Moe’s energetic thrusts.

At least, that is until Marge shows the other girls how it’s done. Now that she and Homer have the camera back, they can finally film their frolicking. Homer appears to eat Marge out in P.O.V. style, with the camera giving us an intimate view of her mound. If you’ve always imagined that this blue-haired babe would be a tiger in bed, you’re right. Actually, she’s a tiger on the couch, but you get the picture. Marge fucks Homer’s shaft and then wants to taste her own juices on Homer’s cock for a while before doing it doggy style. They have sex in different positions, always showing Marge to her best advantage. Andy San Dimas stays in character (and voice) the whole time, and not even a blue wig and yellow body paint can diminish her extreme beauty and sex appeal. When Homer pops, Marge proves to be a dirty girl indeed, spitting it out on his cock and licking it back up to swallow.

Director Lee Roy Myers has captured the hilarious essence of yet another pop culture institution with this first release from his self-titled studio. Everybody is well cast and the makeup is great, courtesy of talented industry makeup pro 2Ply. Josh Thomas does note-perfect voice impersonations of Homer and Barney (who we never see, but he’s helping Moe film his tryst with Cookie through a hole in the wall). This is a “Simpsons” parody that should amuse you and satisfy your curiosity.

Stars:   Andy San Dimas Asia Zo Briana Blair Eddie Adams Evan Stone James Deen Anthony Rosano Josh Thomas
Categories: New Release Feature Adult Humor Parody High Definition
Running Time: 107 minutes
Released:   01/2011
Studio Name:   Lee Roy Myers Movies
Director:   Lee Roy Myers

Girl Crush 2

One of the problems with technology today is that it has become so cheap and so available that it’s an awful lot like some of the girls you probably knew in high school. That’s not what I was originally going to say, but the line pretty much wrote itself. Seriously though, it has become so cheap and available that any knuckle butt with a few greenbacks to rub together can fancy himself a filmmaker. What that does, in conjunction with the prevalence of self-publishing sites and YouTube sites and all that mumbo-jumbo, is water down the medium with a shit-ton of crap.

Let’s take that premise one step further. Porn movies have always been considered a few rungs below mainstream filmmaking in overall quality. That’s not to say that there aren’t plenty of treasures among the trash as our VOD would attest, but in the mind’s eye of the general populous it’s pretty abysmal. So, with the glut of cameras dotting the landscape, it only stands to reason that porn is not immune from being watered down by shit-tons of crap either.

Frankly, I have a theory that Gonzo porn was invented just so movie houses could figure out a way to profit from junk filmmaking. You can almost hear the conversation at the executive meetings:

CEO: Gentlemen, we have a problem. We’ve got all this shitty porn flooding the market and it’s eating up our profit margins. What do we do?

Executive 1: Go into another line of business?

CEO: You’re fired. Anyone else?

Executive 2: We could create a new category of porn and call it “shitty porn”

CEO: If you know it’s shitty and you call it shitty, who’s going to watch? We need a name that sounds cool, even though we all know it refers to something shitty.

Executive 3: How about Gonzo?

CEO: You mean like gonzo journalism and Hunter S. Thompson?

Executive 3: No, like Gonzo the Muppet. Everyone loves Muppets. Not everyone likes Hunter S. Thompson.

CEO: Excellent point. All in favor say “aye”.

Executive 2: Aye.

Executive 3: Aye.

Executive 1: Aye.

CEO: Didn’t I just fire you?

So anyway, back to the original topic. Over the past decade, Gonzo filmmaking sort of took over the medium to the chagrin of many both inside and out of the industry. Naturally, the style started to wear thin on the porn-watching public and the demand for something else arose.

If you’re a regular reader or just a part-time peruser of these reviews, you’ve no doubt come across write-ups of movies from companies like Sweet Sinner and Sweetheart Video and others that are all about a more real and raw type of porn. What you see in these films is so beautiful and natural that it barely qualifies as pornography. You know how women make a keen distinction between sex and making love? These films are like that. The only reason this stuff is not shown on the National Geographic channel or something similar is because of our repressed societal views on sex in general. Well, that and because the protagonists aren’t ibexes.

With the growing allure of natural-type porn, the mainstream companies have been getting in on the act. Elegant Angel is one of them. Their Club 59 imprint was created as a lesbian brand, shot exclusively in HD, to show off girls loving other girls as only girls can. There are no “scenarios” and no hokie, porn-y type stuff. There are, however, very revealing mini-interviews with the girls discussing their likes and dislikes and what turns them on about other women. After that, it’s girl-on-girl intimacy at its finest.  And, boy, did they ever deliver with their Girl Crush series.

In just its second installment, director Mason has paired up some unbelievable women. Then again, Elegant Angel has never had a problem ushering in some of the sexiest, sassiest women ever to fuck…ahem…make love on screen.

Kristina Rose and Georgia Jones pair up in the first scene. Georgia is the antithesis of everything manly. She loves different body styles: apples, pears…whatever. Men are interested in the cherries. She likes intuitiveness. Men prefer “do-it-iveness.” She prefers individualism. Guys tend to love girls operating as a collective, especially in this particular scene with Kristina Rose. For Kristina it’s about the little things during lovemaking, also very unlike guys and their focus on the big things. She likes kisses planted in just the right places and the emotion of an encounter. What you’ll want to see: Georgia’s face rooted in Kristina’s crotch, tongue in pussy and nose bridge-deep in pubes. You should also watch the two of them operate out of the spoon position as Georgia skulks behind Kristina, reaching between her open thighs and fingering her wet snatch.

Lily Labeau you may recall from an amazing scene in Mother-Daughter Exchange Club 13. Here she gets it on with Andy San Dimas. Lily likes the sensual aspects of lesbian love. Andy likes the fact Lily is cuddly and warm and soft. What you’ll want to see (besides Lily’s amazing ass and tits): After scissoring each other like animals, Lily lies on her back, holding open her pussy lips so Andy’s tongue can taste her wetness. You’ll also want to see Andy sitting on Lily’s face, literally bursting into tears of ecstasy while Lily laps at her folds like a cat to a water dish.

Allie Haze is gorgeous and sort of resembles Tori Black in some ways. She was a lesbian before she was bi-sexual, admitting to sucking her first dick and then turning the other way. At least she came around somewhat. She is attracted to kissing and thinks women are better kissers than men. Chloe Cane’s first experience with a girl was back in high school during senior graduation. She wasn’t actually graduating from school, but attended the post party as a junior. It was there her friend came out of the closet and made her desires known. Chloe is all grown up now and through her experiences has become quite the lover. What you’ll want to see: Allie slip two fingers knuckle-deep into Chloe’s pussy and finger fuck all of her tension away. Also, make certain not to miss Chloe do her best Rug Doctor imitation on Allie’s pube-covered muff.

Finally, there is Karlie Montana and Hayden Winters. Karlie is all about a girl’s silky, “yummy smelly” skin and the nape of the neck. Her first experience with a girl dates back to kindergarten, but that was just kissing so she’s unsure if that counts. Hayden thinks girls just know what other girls like because they are girls. They’re gentler and they know all the right spots to address. What you’ll want to see: Damn near everything! From Karlie’s 70s-era pale blue shorts creeping up her crack, to watching her nuzzle and kiss Hayden’s insanely gorgeous rack, to Karlie fingering Hayden’s love groove through her ultra-violet panties, to watching her finger fuck Hayden to orgasm, to a hot mutual masturbation scene where the two share a kiss, to the simultaneous orgasms at the end this scene, it is perhaps the best of the lot. There is a reason these two snagged the box cover slot.

It goes without saying (though we’re going to say it) that this film is blisteringly hot. As alluded to earlier, there is no cheesy music or any other distractions to take your attention away from where it should be: on the girls. The only sounds you’ll hear are lips meeting lips, tongues submerged in damp pools of love juice, short, quick breaths and audible climaxes. It really doesn’t get much better than this. If you’re into lesbian films and realness with your porn, this film is a must-see.

Stars:   Karlie Montana Hayden Winters Kristina Rose Georgia Jones Andy San Dimas Allie Haze Lily Labeau Chloe Cane

Categories: Lesbian New Release Gonzo All Girl

Running Time:   187 minutes

Released:   01/2011

Studio Name:   Elegant Angel Productions

Series:   Girl Crush

Director:   Sam No / Mason

Tori Black is Pretty Filthy 2

Calling Tori Black pretty filthy, is like saying Andy Dick has a mild fascination with drugs and penises, or that, in his new glasses, Justin Bieber kind of resembles Mr. Peabody. She is utterly and completely filthy, sort of like oil slathered in grease and blanketed with petroleum jelly. It’s part of her cake-like charisma that has fans, critics and co-stars all wanting a slice. That she is about as drop-dead lovely as a porn star could be only piles on to her fast-growing legend.

TBIPF 2 plays much like a video portfolio, a sort of variegated cross-section of Tori’s most up-to-date skill set. You’ll see her turned out in plenty of hardcore lesbian, threesome (B/G/G and B/B/G), interracial and solid anal fucking shots for the duration. In between are several-minute-long candid sound bites from an interview session where you learn quite a bit about how her mind operates, her philosophies on life as she sees it and some of her thoughts about the sex scenes she filmed for this release.

The five scenes here are completely scorching, from her first DP(!) on film with Mick Blue and James Deen, to  a three-way boat ride with Alexis Texas and Charley Chase, to a cruise half-naked in an old GTO with Andy San Dimas. She puts the pedal to the metal and rarely lets up. While some may not appreciate the interview session footage, you’ll be glad it is there if for no other reason than to catch your breath after watching the young sexpot toy with your emotions in half-hour increments.

Tori’s constant cumming helped the first installment win Best Gonzo Release, Best Tease  and Best 3-Way Sex Scene at last year’s AVN awards. Judging by the results of this one, there is no reason that feat can’t be repeated.

Running Time:   204 minutes
Released:   09/2010
Director:   Mason