Euro

Schoolgirl Report 3

May 2, 2011

“What parents find unthinkable” according to the subtitle of the third installment in the Schoolgirl Report series, you might find unfathomable. Vicious scenes of senseless brutality and sexploitation on a hyper-inflated scale await in what originally began as an innocent look at the purported teenage sexual habits in 1970s Germany.

Marketed as actual documentaries of German youth, volumes one and two of what became a sensation internationally recounted the supposed real tales of Teutonic teenage skylarking in flashback form. Interspersed between the stories of delicate young flowers being corrupted by peers and authority figures were man-on-the-street interviews, which gave you glimpses into the direction the prevailing moral winds were blowing among the common folk.

Now, it doesn’t take too long to figure out that the whole she-bang is a put-on and not to be taken too seriously. Adding to the nostalgic feel of the films are long-haired co-eds prancing around in groovy get-ups and bulky underwear, flaunting poofy pubes and tat-less extremities all to Gerd Wilden’s crazy soundtracks that fall somewhere between Austin Powers and Esquivel. But, while the third volume of this seemingly light-hearted trip through time makes use of the same conventions, it takes a rather disturbing turn with its overtly gratuitous portrayals of forcible sex and its rather cringe-inducing fantasy scenarios. To make things even more perturbing, some of the girls don’t seem to fall into that, “I’m really 24, but if I put my hair in pigtails I can pass myself off as borerline illegal” territory. At times you really do wonder how these producers were able to get parents/guardians/adults who should know better to look the other way. Granted, none of it is overzealously graphic, easily falling under the soft-core banner, with feigned penetration and the like, but these are mighty gritty themes to be tossing about in any format, let alone to pass them off as commonplace sexual occurrences in the minds and lives of an underage populous too young to understand the ramifications of such actions.

The film is entirely in German, so it may be easier to gloss over some of scenarios and focus more on the cute young girls and their gorgeous bodies. But while some things are better left unsaid, other things may have been better un-filmed. If you are particularly sensitive to very extreme imagery, whether explicitly on display or, as it is in this case, implied, you might be better off watching the first two films in the series.

Though the producers strayed perhaps a bit too far from their original intent, this series remains one of the all-time titillating relics of the sexploitation era. As always, reserve judgment until after you watch it for yourself. Just don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Stars: Sonja Spitzweg Johannes Buzalski

Categories: Euro Teen Classic International All Sex Schoolgirls 70’s Gold

Running Time: 80 minutes

Released: 03/1972

Studio Name: Impulse

Series: Schoolgirl Report

Director: Ernst Hofbauer Walter Boos

Featured Studio: DDF Productions

April 27, 2011

Europe is known for gorgeous, stacked women, many of whom we get off on watching in some of the world’s most hardcore porn. Have you seen that graphic that shows you the average cup size of women in countries all over the world? It shows that countries all over Europe top the list of top-heavy ladies, averaging greater than a D cup. It’s no wonder Euro porn gives us many of our favorite big tit movies.

More than six years ago, DDF Productions went live on the web with a porn site called 1ByDay. Every day, a different Euro hottie was featured and most of them were of the continent’s famously busty silhouette. These days, the company has thousands of viewers on its various sites along with thousands more who watch its movies on our VOD Theater.

DDF’s newest release is “Carmen Seduces Claudio,” featuring the gorgeous and bodacious Carmen Croft. Little is known about this thoroughly hot, black-haired, twenty-something beauty, but all we really need to know is that she loves sucking and riding a hard cock and looks great doing so! The hypnotic sight of her perfect tits during this 30-minute video will stick with you for a long time.

If big naturals are your favorite kind of tits, then “DDF Busty” is the stuff of generously-breasted dreams. Hot Czech box cover babe Constance Devil and her 38DDs lead a cast of boobalicious women that will make you want to move to Europe. Constance’s scene with Joe Monti makes playful use of a blindfold. Anal fans will get off on Luba Love’s sensual way of taking a cock in her ass. Katalin, like the others, gives her partner a sweet titty-fuck but hers just might be the most likely to make you erupt!

At only 25 minutes long, “Busty Massage with Sandy and Lola” is just about the perfect length for a nice, slow build-up to an explosive finish. It’s an all-girl festival of boobage with two girls who, without speaking a word, worship each other’s titties the way only women know how. First there’s some nice footage of them pressing and rubbing their fleshy tits together, but for the most part this is all about the nipple sucking and plenty of oil-slicked breast massage. If your favorite part of girl-on-girl action is the breast play, then this is the movie for you. You’re also likely to get your kicks with “Elli Jordan and Shione Cooper.”

If you’re more of a leg man or foot fetishist, then DDF has you covered with “Hot Legs and Feet.” German girls have fun with each other or with a lucky man while wearing sexy stockings or bare skin – whatever will best show off their lovely legs and dainty feet.

DDF Productions has a small but seriously hot catalogue of movies for anyone who loves the sensual beauty of European women. Even better, most of their movies are in high definition.

Rocco’s POV 2

March 18, 2011

As a reviewer of porn films, there are times when you see a particular title in the queue and say to yourself, “I’ve got to see that film”. That may sound weird to anyone outside the porn industry because porn is always exciting in their minds. I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch hot chicks getting fucked by huge dicks all day and get paid for it, right? Well, believe it or not, when you’ve seen as many XXX films as we have it can sometimes be a grind. Ask yourself how many plumbers enjoy unclogging their own toilets or how many landscapers want to cut their own grass when they get home from work? The same goes for porn. After a while, you’re like, “Oh, great, more tits.”

Then you come to work one day and waiting for you is a Rocco Siffredi movie. Regular readers of these reviews will know all about him and his style of filmmaking. Non-regular readers need more fiber in their diets…oh, and they may still know all about his M.O. when it comes to sex on film. It’s dark. It’s depraved. It’s sometimes almost inhuman. At the same time it’s superhuman the way he coerces girls from all over the world and from all walks of life to twist and contort their curvaceous frames into positions that no body was designed to be in.

Rocco himself is a doll. He’s pleasant on camera. He’s sweet to the women, complementing their every feature. And the women swoon. Yet, when he gets going, slipping this into that, and that into this, he’s insatiable. He’s unpredictable. As we’ve pointed out before, he loves these women like no other, but you just get the feeling he could get carried away at any point and literally kill someone if the mood struck him. But, like a cat, he would play with his prey before doing the deed. As the Divinyls sang there’s a fine line between pleasure and pain and Rocco trips over it at every turn. Any guy that would grind a woman’s face into a planter and feed her flower petals as he did in Animal Trainer 31 doesn’t seem to be on the most even of keels. But it’s why we watch.

All that said, Rocco’s POV 2 was intriguing not necessarily because of the reasons above, (though unpredictability, especially when it comes to manipulating sphincters, is always full of intrigue), but rather because it is a POV. As we mentioned above, Rocco’s films are dastardly and rooted in a lot of physical contact, including slapping and spitting and choking and a lot of other inglorious “-ings”. For Rocco to resort to a POV, in this writer’s opinion, it is much like that scene in The Princess Bride where the hero, Westley, is engaged in a sword duel with Inigo. As the fight progresses, both Inigo and Westley admit they had been fighting with their non-dominant hands the whole time; they were handicapping themselves on purpose for the sport of it because their skill sets with the blade were so superior and they desperately wanted a good fight for a change. Rocco doing a POV is very much the same thing. It’s a guy, with a giant cock, massive ego and wayward id, tying one hand behind his back and saying, “I still got this.”

First up is Valentina, a 26-year-old guide from Hungary (though she says she is 22). Supporting his animalistic tendencies is Rocco’s comment that he senses the sex in her. Soon, he feels her mouth and uvula on his giant prick. It barely fits, though her asshole takes his index finger quite easily. But he’s just greasing her brown wheel for cock insertion. There’s some handjobbing, rimming, deep throating and even an ATM before the brown-haired cutie takes a giant facial.

Raven-haired Russkie Henessy is a 20-year-old student, who is about to learn some gooey lessons in love. Her naturally proportioned tits are amazing as is her nubile little body. She takes his cock down her throat and cries herself a river of mascara in the process, but only after cramming a giant dildo into her pussy. She nearly throws up on his cock several times, which turns Rocco on. As a reward, she gets puke penis across the chops. He drills both her holes, gets his ass licked and toes sucked, and unloads cum into her waiting mouth. Her running make-up looks like a member of Kiss after a live show.

Twenty-year-old Kitty is a blonde Hungarian, who is a beginner porn star. She’ll be a veteran within 30 minutes. Her shaved snatch and tanned figure are lovely, yet Rocco complements her knee-high boots. Despite having one hand occupied by a camera, he manages to work in some face-slaps. Kitty wastes no time double-fisting his dick, taking it up the ass and gaping for the camera. She too licks his asshole and masturbates with a large dildo, before he paints her tongue in cum.

Tanned, busty brunette Brigi is next. The 18-year-old brunette looks like she could be Don Dokken’s sister. The gorgeous tits and lithe body make her a “dream warrior” for sure, but what’s this!? After taking it in the ass, slathering his taint and asphyxiating on his fingers, she gets cold feet and wants to bail on Rocco. She’s had it with him and his antics. They exchange words in a foreign tongue, but her face tells the tale. Somehow he convinces her to suck him off anyway. The antagonistic experience makes him spurt in near-mythical quantities. No one walks out on Rocco, but here you’ll see the closest anyone has come to doing so.

In addition to those scenes, there are three others. Young cosmetologist Ildiko has a cherubic face; a sweet, chubby ass and luscious, natural tits with wide areolas. She doesn’t like things in her ass or taking sperm facials, which begs the question: what the hell is she doing in a Rocco Siffredi film? She eventually does get a thumb and cock up her bum in due time and lets him cum inside her. Blonde diva Zafira May is a club kid who fucks the director with plenty of verve and enthusiasm. She pumps her pussy with Rocco’s collection of giant dildos. Lastly, waitress Linda Ray gives Rocco access to her tender mouth and perfect, shapely ass.

Rocco’s POV 2 is another amazing entry in his ever-growing repertoire of nasty XXX fare. In previous movies, Rocco’s only limitations have been the will of the women. To even the playing field, he wears both the director’s and filmographer’s pants in this one and still makes out like a champ. As if the awards lining the walls of his office weren’t already proof, Rocco Siffredi is the current king of porn and not even a self-imposed handicap can knock the crown from his head.

Stars: Linda Ray Brigi Kitty Cat Zafira May Henessy Rocco Siffredi Ildiko Valentina Blue

Categories: Anal New Release Big Dick Euro Gonzo P.O.V. Anilingus

Running Time: 196 minutes

Released: 02/2011

Studio Name: Rocco Siffredi Productions

Series: Rocco’s POV

Director: Rocco Siffredi

Sex with Sandra Shine

February 22, 2011

Here’s a riddle for you: What do Peaches, Jo, Eve Angel and Sophie Moon have in common? If you said two boobs, one pussy and a nice bum then you’re a major smart ass. If you said they’re women then, wow, are you ever an astute observer of detail. But, if you said that they are all part of Viv Thomas’ “Sex With…” line of films then you certainly know your porn. And being a know-it-all you probably also know that his team strives to create tasteful, sensual and high quality erotica in a positive, fun and original way.

Should you, however, happen to fall into the smart ass or “highly astute” categories mentioned above, you might be unfamiliar with his ridiculously hot body of work. To that we say: get acquainted immediately! That means starting with the newest addition to the “Sex With…” line called Sex with Sandra Shine. Like the other women in the series, Sandra is a natural beauty with perfect skin, shapely figure and adoration for other members of the fairer sex.

The best part about this series though is that you don’t have to go searching through tens or hundreds of volumes to find your favorite scenes. They’re all here, meticulously culled together by Viv himself – kind of like a greatest hits package of sorts. There is a sensual solo masturbation scene to start it all off, plus six different scenes with six different stunning babes, including the lovely Eve Angel from “All About Eve” and Sophie Moon from “Return of Sandy”.

Here you’ll get your fill of lapped lips, caressed clits, 69 action, anal fingering, toy play and even a rim job or two by some of the finest erotic female specimens from around Europe. With a variety of settings including the bedroom, doctor’s office, pool and more, layered on a backdrop of soft, ambient music, Sex With Sandra Shine is a trove of carnal pleasures that will appeal to everyone, especially couples looking for something less gratuitous and more sensual. Win!

Stars: Sandra Shine Mya Diamond Laura Capri Sophie Moon Cameron Cruise Eve Angel Vera Versanyi

Categories: Lesbian New Release Euro International All Sex All Girl British

Running Time: 159 minutes

Released: 01/2011

Studio Name: VivThomas.com

Series: Sex With

Director: Viv Thomas

Pussy Talk

February 21, 2011

The study of philosophy tells us that when you define something, its opposite also becomes true. So, if there exists something called hot, there must exist the opposite of hot, or cold. If there exists fast, there must also exist slow. If there exists big, there must also exist small. You get the point.

In 1972, the film Deep Throat defined the fact that a woman’s clitoris could reside in her throat. That means that somewhere there must exist the opposite of that. But what is the opposite of a clitsophagus? Apparently it’s a blabgina. Released in 1975, Pussy Talk stars Penelope LaMour as Joelle, a woman who discovers that within her second pair of lips resides a very opinionated, very sharp-tongued entity. The main problem with this set up (as if loquacious labia weren’t bad enough) is that the entity has no filter and a poor sense of timing, which makes for all kinds of awkward social interactions. Of course, because it’s porn, they all lead to sexual encounters, which is good for the you, the viewer.

The classic scene in this one is the dinner party where Joelle’s pussy gets bored and decides to take matters into its own hands – by using Joelle’s hands on itself. There she sits, solitary, in plain view on the couch, running her finger through her hairy slit. Talk about a party foul (and possibly two if you’re opposed to hairy snatches.) As Joelle’s friskiness hogs the g-spotlight, everyone suddently stops to watch the spectacle. Her hubby Eric (Nils Hortzs) is understandably horrified and starts to doubt his ability to satisfy her.

He calls in a shrink (Ellen Earl), but Joelle’s slit siren begins talking smack to the good doctor. It’s persuasive ways lead to shock on the part of the shrink and to part of the shrink being shocked – namely with a thorough ass fucking from Eric. After that, she approaches Joelle and temporarily appeases the pompous pussy with a good licking.

From here, the film takes a decidedly strange and more sexual turn. Thanks to a press conference by the doctor, word about Joelle circulates around town and she becomes more or less a circus freak in the eyes of the general public. To escape the attention, she and Eric retreat to her childhood home where she begins to have flashbacks of her youth. Beatrice Harnois plays the young Joelle as she recounts abuse suffered at the hands of her step-father; trying to lose her virginity to her boyfriend only to give it up to a Pinocchio marionette (a must-see); fucking her high school teacher; and seducing her priest at confessional.

When a sleazy reporter (Vicky Messica) discovers her whereabouts, Joelle takes refuge at her Aunt Barbara’s (Sylvia Bourbon). However, the reporter, who desperately seeks an interview with Joelle’s pussy, pays Barbara off to get access. When Joelle recovers from her sedation, she goes home where Eric fucks the entity out of her. However, the act has a very, very strange result. As per usual, you must watch to find out what transpires. What we can tell you that it’s very wacky and it spawned a sequel.

Pussy Talk is fun and entertaining, but also very sexy. It’s one of the truly great films in all of adult cinema, not just the French side of things. It won the Grand Prize at the first and only International Porn Film Festival in Paris during the summer of 1975. Unfortunately, in an attempt to clamp down on porn, European governments levied hefty taxes on filmmakers and production houses forcing massive budget cuts. Projects that began as ambitious endeavors often ended up as back alley afterthoughts.

It’s a damn shame, really.

Stars: Penelope LaMour Sylvia Bourbon Beatrice Harnois Ellen Earl Nils Hortzs Vicky Messica Claude Dupont

Categories: Euro Feature Classic International Adult Humor 70’s Gold Parody

Running Time: 87 minutes

Released: 11/1975

Studio Name: ALPHA-FRANCE

Series: Pussy Talk

Director: Frederic Lansac

Ma Mere Me Prostitue

February 14, 2011

When it comes to adult theater, it’s really tough to find anything truly shocking anymore. What began in the 60s as sexploitation and softcore, ever so surely evolved into more and more explicit territory. How did we get here? Well, filmmakers and envelopes have always had an adversarial relationship. The filmmaker pushes while the envelope tries to hold its ground, usually to the detriment of the envelope. When the envelope is displaced, the result is what we like to call a “shock and awe” moment. It is at this point that what we believe and the values we hold are severely tested.

But these moments have short life spans. Before the backlash has even had a chance to take effect, someone is trying to push the envelope once again. The ongoing process leads to mass desensitization as the new shock and awe moment makes the previous one seem not so bad by comparison. The thing is that each successive shock and awe moment has to have more shock and more awe to make an impact.

If you must, look at it much as you would inflation. Two dollars today buys you the same amount of bread that fifty cents did decades ago. Why? The price of making bread has increased and there is more money in circulation. The combination of the two means that it takes more of that money to get the same amount of bread. Continuing along those lines, anally fisted midgets on the big screen today get the same reaction as did the appearance of a nipple forty years ago. Why? The price of slack-jawed gawking has increased and there is more shock and awe in circulation than years ago. Therefore it takes more of it to elicit the same reaction.

All that said, there are some taboos that are inflation-proof. Even the slightest amount gets just as strong of a reaction now as it did then, meaning a much better return on your investment. The film Ma Mere Me Prostitue, directed by Francis Leroi and released by Alpha-France, centers on a young woman who is forced into a seamy world of gutter trash and selling ones body thanks to her mother. When she can no longer swallow her predicament, she flips the script and reverses the situation. The film touches on many of the taboos hinted at above: prostitution, forcible sex and anally-fucked males by way of a strap-on among others, making it one of the all-time successes of XXX French cinema.

Stars: Christin Black Gabriel Pontello Andre Kay Patricia Santos Jacques Marbeuf Isabelle Brel Brigitte Verbecq Jacques Gatteau Helen Shelley Lise Pinson Claude Valmont Mascha Mouton Olivier Mathot Dominique St. Clair (m) Jacques Dales Victor Semama Michel de Nyokinos

Categories: Euro Classic International All Sex 80’s Gold French Speaking

Running Time: 80 minutes

Released: 10/1982

Studio Name: ALPHA-FRANCE

Director: Francis Leroi

The Secretary

February 8, 2011

If you frequent this blog, you’ll notice two trends in the movie coverage this week: French films and secretaries. Just yesterday, we discussed the film Sex Games for Couples. If you watched it like we told you to, you’ll recall one of the guys fucked, like, 83 different secretaries. Is it any wonder company pension funds are bankrupting some European countries?

How many memos does a small business actually need to type? With that many secretaries, each one could be in charge of a single character on an alpha-numeric keyboard. Their career paths would start at the bottom, in charge of the letter “e”. As they worked their way up the ladder, they’d move on to less frequently used characters like the number “5”. Then, they’d be in charge of “q” or “x” or maybe even “z” until finally, after years of service and obtaining a high level of seniority, one of them would get the mother of all jobs: manning the “^” key. I mean, when the hell do you ever need that? Never – unless you work at a math factory. That would be one cushy job.

In today’s featured movie, The Secretary, by Marc Dorcel pictures, there are once again a plethora of tight-bodied typing pool twats trying to finagle their way to the top of their professions. Or are they? At the beginning of the film, some unknown peeping Tom or peeping Joan is camped out in the bushes taking risqué photographs of his or her boss (Bruno S X) getting it on with the beautiful blonde Carla Cox and one other guy (Ian Scott). If extortion is the game, that voyeur came to the right place. The shutter clicks on a wide assortment of vaginal, anal, threeway and DP action that is sure to garner a hefty raise or promotion of some kind.

The question becomes: who took the shots and why is he or she so angry at the extort-ees? It’s a great question and one that we really can’t answer, despite having seen the movie. No, we’re not trying to be assholes. It’s just that the whole movie is in French and our bosses won’t splurge for Rosetta Stone. So, we’re left to wonder. Are they mad about possible layoffs? A white flag shortage? Or, is it the fact that CSI: Punta Gorda was just cancelled and Ben & Jerry’s has gone too corporate? Being in an office setting, it may just be the copier is jammed and they’re all out of toner. We don’t really know.

The Secretary is, however, a great social experiment for English-speaking natives. Why? People always say they don’t care for dialogue or back story, that they watch porn for the fucking. That may be true, but people also complain about sports announcers on television, yet when they go to a live event, they’ve got ear buds crammed into their skulls listening to whatever the broadcasters are saying. The point is this: will you miss the banter when it’s not there or if you can’t understand it?

Well, that’s an individual crisis that can’t be answered with a blanket response, but we think the hotness of the women in this film will make you forget all about the plot – whatever it is. Just take a look at the second scene. The timid guy (Titof) at the office (we know this because of the caption at the bottom of the screen when he is introduced) has a fantasy about getting it on with two of the secretaries, Tarra White and the sublime Bijou. For a timid creature, his fantasies are certainly very explicit including some titty-fucking, threeway, pussy eating and anal fucking. There are some nice face-sitting shots worked in and a nice view of dude’s tongue dancing across Tarra’s folds. There are also some well-timed slo-motion shots of Bijou’s lovely tits bouncing around while she rides cock. A cumshot on their bespectacled faces concludes the excellent scene.

Another threesome between Carla and the same two guys transpires in the next scene. You’ll see many of the same positions as before, and once again there are shots being snapped from outside. While you won’t want to see some old man fucking some young chick a second time, you’ll want to see the two cumshots that Carla takes on her ass. Droplets of ooze run down her ass crack and pool right in her bum star as she hunkers down on all fours, ass facing directly at the camera lens.

Judging by the urgency displayed on the boss’ face after this scene, we’re guessing he is now aware that someone has it out for him. He begins to get on the defensive with everyone, asking if he or she knows how the elicit pictures of his private life managed to slip through the mail undetected, let alone escape from the minimum wage employee at the Fotomat, without raising any suspicion. From this point on, everyone is on notice, every move scrutinized to a ridiculous degree. You’ll definitely be scrutinizing Bijou and Tarra when they engage in a lesbian fling on the boss’ makeshift putting green. Bijou fingers Tarra while lapping up her clit, which has reached near fossilized levels of hardness. Bijou has some astounding tits as you’ll see when she sits on the desk and Tarra plants her face in her soft cooch. When the film goes split screen, it’s double the breastage, the sight of which will make your head explode!

Carla is then seen taking on a couple of grunts down at the warehouse (Michael Cheritto and Tony Corleone) in another threeway and the gorgeous Eliska Cross, the one keeping her head down all this time, gets the office Casanova’s (Mike Angelo) head up, fucking him and taking a drippy load onto her lovely tits.

Finalizing the film is a narration and a film montage that seems to recap the action. We see a woman, who we presume is the boss’ wife, slapping the two-timer (maybe three-timer in this case) across the chops and storming out of his office. Sitting in a chair is Eliska, who turns to the camera and gives us all a wink. In America, that would indicate guilt. In France, that could be a sign of constipation. Who knows?

The Secretary is proof that you don’t need to know what’s going on at all to enjoy watching well-proportioned and naturally endowed women ride the rocket. Now, that’s saying something! What, we’re not exactly sure on account of it was all in French.

Stars: Tarra White Carla Cox Titof Mike Angelo Michael Cheritto Eliska Cross Bijou Tony Corleone Ian Scott Bruno Sx

Categories: Anal New Release Euro International All Sex Threeway French Speaking

Running Time: 106 minutes

Released: 01/2011

Studio Name: Marc Dorcel

Director: Rebecca Lord