We decided to try something a little different for this review. Why? Well, if Arby’s says different is good, then it must be true. More importantly, it occurred to us that there were so many times in our previous experiences that we wished we could be a fly on the proverbial wall in a given situation…you know, to eavesdrop and find out what REALLY was going on in some of these porn movies. Then it occurred to us that if we actually wanted to eavesdrop on a production, it would be preferable to be a creature that actually had ears…and maybe a brain (instead of a solitary ganglion or two that the fly has)…you know, to be able to process what we heard. So, because the fly has such glaring shortcomings in the practice of eavesdropping, we decided it would really be best to be a very, very small, human on the wall…maybe even a very, very small human on a talking wall. Man, that would be some serious dirt.
But we digress.
Unfortunately for us, flys can’t hear and walls don’t talk. But according to the creators of the Booty Talk series, trunk junk does, in fact, create sound. In hearing this, we agreed that we had to take them to task on the claims as they seemed so ridiculous.
To test the theory we had the producers send us the booty tracks from this film. In looking at the audio waves, we discovered that they actually mimic human speech patterns. So, we took them to the laboratory for further analysis and what we have below will astound you. It’s the actual transcripts from the booty that appears in volume 92 of the Booty Talk films. You’ll get the skinny on this film from the perspective of the booty, which we submit to you is an industry first. Do not try this at home. We are professionals.
Destiny Dream’s booty says: “Look at my owner. She loves nature and rubbing her hand over smoothed out rocks. She loves exposing her lovely natural tits and showing you her pop-up nipples in the cool air of the morning. Who does she think she’s kidding with that blonde hair? Oh, well. Like her, I’m a Capricorn, so I love to get fucked, especially when I’m decked out in turquoise, my favorite color. That said, I’m a newbie at this, so I’m going to defer my excitement to my partner in crime, Destiny’s pussy. Destiny loves shoving her 3rd and 4th fingers into her wet cooch because the vanilla flavoring is overwhelming and I like vanilla. It reminds me of a new car smell or that time I sat in the remnants of some kid’s waffle cone at the beach. Anyway, her pussy is all freshly shaved too and enticing enough for Prince Yahshua to stick his fingers and big black cock into it. I’m not jealous though, because in due time I’ll be getting some of my own action on screen. For now, I’ll just have to bask in left over cream pie crumbs that leak from Destiny’s twat when Yahshua cums. ”
Kakeyxxx’s booty says: “My, how the weather in Los Angeles is far superior to New York where I’m from. I’m excited to be on my first shoot for West Coast Productions. If you want to see something freaky, tell my owner to open up and say ahhhh. You’ll get a load of one of the longest and widest tongues you’ll ever see. It’s great when she wraps that thing around your shaft and sucks you off, no doubt. But, (and that’s a big butt) I’m the reason they call my owner Kakey. Look at me ripple and gyrate like the waves after a pebble hits a pond. Man, I am the shit! I’m also soft like cake, which is what I assume my owner’s name is making reference to. Who spells cake with a “k”? Who the hell knows? I’m an ass, not a brain, for chrissakes! So, who’s this West Coast gangsta wannabe talking smack about me? Why it’s John Q. I think he’s got a little somethin’ somethin’ for me that I know I’m gonna like. So, let’s do this East Coast vs. West Coast thing, starting with me squishing JQ’s face with a little bum rumble. Then, I’ll let Kakey’s mouth and pussy reap the glory with some blowjobs, gagging and a fresh cream pie.”
Serena Sinful’s booty says: “Paisley mini-skirts are back in and I love being draped in it, especially when there ain’t no panties between me and some swanky floral patterns. I’m not sure I love my owner Serena’s sex-drenched tele-communicative overtures to a nearby neighbor when his girl is out of town. But, give me a break, will you? I’ve got to be a little selfish sometimes when I want cock. And I have to speak up on behalf of my pal pussy because it doesn’t talk. (except for that old 1972 movie Pussy Talk, where that thing never shuts up!) Okay, now I hear some dirty talking over the phone and it looks like my owner is stroking her nipples like she was asked to. God, I hope the dude doesn’t ask her to take off her glasses, though. She’s blind as a wombat without them. SHIT! He just did. Well, it’s phone sex, so she can pretend she’s following orders. Wait a minute, did he just demand again that she take them off? How the hell would he know she didn’t unless…holy shit! This guy can see her somehow! Is he in our house right now? Shit! He is. How can she not see…oh, right…I’m her booty so I’m facing the opposite direction of her eyes, so I can see him, but she can’t. But, I’m supposed to be able to talk, right? Why can’t she hear me and why does it feel like I’m speaking in thought balloons just like Garfield the cat? Damn! Okay, she seems to be enjoying the tease, so I’ll chill for now. And here he breaks from his hiding place. Okay, it’s just Prince Yashua. He’s cool. Geez, I can feel how big his cock is right through his denim as he leans up against Serena. Man, I love it when he licks my face like that! Blech! What the hell is this slimy white stuff? It’s not the normal warm liquid I’m used to. Oh, it’s lotion. Man, I wish the camera wouldn’t zoom in so close to me sometimes. I’m not the kind of booty to get hung up on my looks, but at that range, all the blemishes on my complexion really show up. Yeah, that’s better…focus in on the mouth sucking his huge prick. Hmmm. I wonder what kind of carpet is this? It kind of burns when I rub up against it. That’s what happens when my pal pussy gets pummeled in mish. Okay, I can breathe again, now that Serena is taking it doggie style. Ugh. I didn’t intend to work out today, but because she’s cumming, my muscles are all contracting like crazy. I’ll be sore in the morning! I really need to get into shape. Time for me to watch the fireworks as Prince blasts his jizz all over her face. Gotta go now.”
Evanni Solei’s booty says: “Oh, gracious. I’m going to be late meeting Imani.”
Imani Rose’s booty says: “Where is that girl? Oooooh, she’s going to get it good! With me in my S&M gear, you know she was probably going to get it good anyway. Hey, fingers! Play some inane tune on the piano like you always do until she arrives.”
Fingers: “I’ll show you inane, bitch!”
Evanni Solei’s booty says: “Sorry I’m late.”
Imani Rose’s booty says: “Why was you late?”
Evanni Solei’s booty says: “Because I…”
Imani Rose’s booty says: “Shhhh!”
Evanni Solei’s booty says: “But…”
Imani Rose’s booty says: “Shut, it, bitch!”
Evanni Solei’s booty says: “But…”
Imani Rose’s booty says: “I said, shut it!”
Evanni Solei’s booty says: “How can I ‘splain something if you don’t let me talk? See the title? It’s called Booty TALK. You want to make the producers look like liars?”
Imani Rose’s booty says: “No. And I let you talk.”
Evanni Solei’s booty says: “No, you don’t.”
Imani Rose’s booty says: “Yes, I do.”
Evanni Solei’s booty says: “No, you don’t.”
Imani Rose’s booty says: “Yes, I do.”
Sorry, everyone. We’re going to have to paraphrase the booty for this scene because it’s impossible to get anything out of it when two booties are trying to talk over each other. Basically, Evanni is late and Imani is pissed. Imani’s going to show her who’s boss with some domination tactics, which include some ass slapping and a large, ribbed, purple vibrator up the vag from behind. That gets Evanni to cum, lacquering up the curved tip of the sex toy. Imani then makes Evanni lick and nuzzle her ass from behind. She gets a purple toy in her slit too, before they suck on opposing ends of a double-headed dong. Sucking turns to fucking and the two come face to face while grinding on the toy – in every sense of the phrase. In the final act, Imani takes a bulbous pink implement and gently inserts it into Evanni’s tight asshole, pulling out each beaded portion one-by-one. Once the two are completely spent, tempers then return to normal.
Evanni Solei’s booty says: “I’m sorry for interrupting.”
Imani Rose’s booty says: “Me too.”
Evanni Solei’s booty says: “Let’s be booty friends.”
Imani Rose’s booty says: “Done.”
Fingers: I’ll kick both your asses, bitches!
Michelle Malone’s booty says: “I wish Michelle would stop doing these last-minute dates all the time, ’cause she always wants to shave her pussy to get it all smooth before the guy shows up. There’s nothing wrong with that, except she’s always running out of shaving cream because she don’t plan ahead. Then she uses all sorts of other stuff that leaves razor burns and bumps and totally irritates. Hey, at least she’s using lube this time. In the past, she’s tried soap, suntan lotion, dishwashing liquid and even a cheese grater. Ha ha…kidding about the last one. Just seeing if you were paying attention. It’s always a hoot to watch Michelle balance herself on the side of the tub when she’s gliding that razor over her slit. It always gets her horny too. Now I’m starting to see why she uses lube…it’s so she don’t have to get up and find some when she stuffs that pink dildo into her. How come she don’t use shaving cream on the dildo ever? Just sayin’. Hey, look at me! I’m on camera now. Hi mom! But I suppose you’d rather watch the dildo go in and out of her slit. That’s cool. Is that Michelle’s date walking into the bathroom? What’s he doing here? We weren’t supposed to go out for another half hour or so. Ack! He just put his tongue in my eye. Geez, no one gives out hugs anymore? Quit slapping me, junior! Wow, that’s a huge cock. Pussy is about to get her fill of dick. Man, is Michelle ever getting split apart. Good thing I’m not ears right now because her screams of pleasure are quite piercing from what I’m told. And we’re in a tiled bathroom with no dampening agents. I pleaded for more bathmats, but no! Well, that’s what you get then. Again with the balancing act and now she’s getting fucked on top of everything else. Now it’s my turn. Oh, oh. That thing is much bigger up close than I originally thought. Just put it in real slmmmmpppphhhh!
On behalf of Michelle’s booty, we want to inform you that she takes it in her ass spoon style, CG and RCG. She also takes an anal cream pie. Booty is resting comfortably and expects a full recovery.
Princess’ booty says: “I’m tired of being last. I always have a lot of cool things to talk about, but I get short-changed because by the time I get around to speaking, the translator is trying to wrap everything up and move on to the next project. Would it hurt to budget his time a little more, so every booty could get equal billing? I’m sure people would want to hear about my owner’s 24-year-old physique and amazing rack and how she likes to spritz baby oil on her tits. They would probably like to hear more about Nat Turner’s oversized cock and how he uses it to fuck this island girl’s sweet mouth and pussy. They would probably also like to know that for her first scene she takes a mouthful of cum like a veteran performer. But, no. The cameras will roll and I’ll start talking and then they’ll tell me I’m out of time and that they’re really sorry and that I’ll get to go first next time. Well, you know what? There won’t be a next time because I ain’t putting up with that shit anymore! I’m outta…what’s that? I’ve got 30 seconds left? You mean the cameras were rolling this whole time? Well, shit! It would have been nice for someone to tell me. I had this whole badass presentation ready to go and…what? Right, you’re out of time. Yeah, yeah of course you’re sorry. Sure, I’d love to go first next time. *sigh*
Well, there you have it, straight from the horse’s…er, ass’s mouth. Be sure to watch Booty Talk 92 and judge it from your own perspective as more tests will have to be done before we can truly rely on booty testimonials for review material. In the meantime, we hope our editors will let this summary slide.
Oh, to be a fly on the wall at that meeting.
Stars: Princess Michelle Malone Serena Sinful Kakeyxxx Destiny Dreamxxx Nat Turner Rico Strong Prince Yahshua John Q.
Categories: Black Cumshot New Release All Sex Cream Pies Big Butt High Definition
Running Time: 183 minutes
Released: 03/2011
Studio Name: West Coast Productions
Series: Booty Talk
Director: TB
Even though she’s known as the Caribbean Goddess of Porn, Aryana Starr is hardly one to spend her time on a permanent vacation…when she wants something, she goes after it! At one point, this ebony beauty was balancing modeling and exotic dancing with finishing up her degree in college. Making the move to porn was just something she had always wanted to do, and was simply tired of seeing the same types of scenes over and over. “The girls I watched on the videos just seem bored and I figured I could bring life back into [it],” she said in 2010. With that in mind, she jumped in with both feet in 2008 and since then has worked with the likes of Evil Angel, Jules Jordan Video, Hustler, Black Ice and Evasive Angles. She is a former first lady of Silverback Entertainment, and now manages her own brand, Dirty Angels Entertainment. Aryana also doesn’t hold back with her opinion, as anyone who follows her Twitter knows, and this up-front honesty is what keeps the fans coming back for more of this star who is more than a set of chocolate 38D tits. Set back and comfortable on the Wet Spot with this week’s Jamaican lovely.
The easiest thing you can do to make me happy is:
