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Sep 11 2014

#TBT: New Wave Hookers

New Wave HookersFor our first Throwback Thursday post, we’re reviewing a legendary 1985 porno titled New Wave Hookers. In the ’80s, even those of us who were so young and sheltered we barely knew about porn heard of this movie. It was part of pop culture in a way that XXX rarely was back then.

Two buddies, Jimmy and Jamal, are watching porn and wondering what it’s like to be a pimp. Jimmy wants to “program” a bunch of New Wave girls to fuck along with music and open a joint called New Wave Hookers.

The guys fall asleep and wake up in a scummy office. Both are dressed “New Wave,” including shades and studded leather. Jimmy’s suddenly pretending he’s Chinese, which feels like a “Turning Japanese” reference. There’s also a bum pretending to be a dog who lets them know there’s a phone call by saying “ring” until they pick up the call. This movie is in on its own joke.

When a potential hooker shows up on roller skates, Jamal gives her headphones to listen to a new song by the Band-Aids. She turns into a sex fiend, humping Jimmy and masturbating with a dildo, then begging him to fuck her. Eventually, she’s sucking the bum off while Jimmy rails her from behind. She’s hired!

Next, two programmed hookers find an “Arab” john in a tent, who speaks no English but clearly understands when they start licking each other in front of him. He tastes their sweet, furry bushes and spears them on his dick, one after the other.

Superstar Ginger Lynn is sent to entertain two nerds. One wants to fuck her pussy while the other ass-bangs her, and she shows them a bitchin’ time as they double-penetrate her to a soundtrack of primal New Wave rhythms and squeals of ecstasy.

Jamal thinks that the music holds powers over the women and makes them need to fuck. When an Asian babe brings in sushi for Jimmy, Jamal decides to test his theory. The music captivates her, too, and the pimps and bum take turns fucking her.

The vice squad busts them in the middle of gang-banging some bitches who have been in the programming chamber for too long and need to get fucked. Jimmy knows the cops and offers to let them join in if they’ll look the other way, and these girls are too hot for them to say no.

All of the movie’s tongue-in-cheek absurdity gives it lots of character that is very much of its era. It’s a throwback classic for a reason.

Stars:   Kimberly Carson   Greg Rome   Rick Cassidy   Peter North   Tom Byron   Jamie Gillis   Kristara Barrington   Jack Baker   Steve Powers   Desiree Lane   Brooke Fields   Steve Drake   Ginger Lynn   Gina Carrera