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Vista Valley PTA

July 25, 2011

Remember that song Harper Valley PTA? You know … the 1968 country chart-topper sung by Jeannie C. Riley? You know … the song that inspired the 1978 motion picture and 1981 television series starring Barbara Eden? You know … the woman who played Jeannie in the I Dream of Jeannie sitcom?

Oh, you don’t. Well, that means you’re young and all of us old people are shaking our fists at you right now … well, if we still had elbow joints, that is. Despite our physical infirmities, we can assure you that the song, the television series and Barbara Eden are all classics as is this film, Vista Valley PTA, a rather loose reconstruction of the Harper Valley premise.

Directed by Anthony Spinelli and released by Cal Vista, the film centers around the blonde, lovely Jessie St. James, an educator who arrives in Vista Valley to help clean up the image of the local high school. Two of its female teachers have suffered forcible sex at the hands of students in recent months and one of the male teachers has been beaten to within an inch of his life. Why a beautiful woman such as she is sent to the frontlines to shape up a bunch of derelicts is beyond us, but it does prove to dredge up a lot of conflict, always a good thing for a porn flick because it leads to torrid sex more times than not. But she’s not the only one responsible for the great fucking.

Richard Pacheco and Dorothy Lemay are a truant couple messing around in a convertible before class. Dorothy is coerced into playing with herself by her delinquent boyfriend. Both she and he slide their fingers through her furry pussy, loosening her up enough for her to go down on the impatient Richard. The bell rings as she lowers her mouth over the head of his cock, but she quickly sucks and jerks him to orgasm.

The late, great Jamie Gillis plays a sexually repressed religious zealot who hires a hooker (Desiree West) for his enjoyment. He prefers she finger fuck herself while he sits and masturbates into a Kleenex. She’s a bit creeped out as you too will be by his performance, especially when he grabs her hair and yells at her to repent for her wickedness. Even creepier is when he goes home and bursts in on his topless daughter (Sharon Kane), yet lingers in the room while she hurries to get dressed, even feeling her up in the process. Gillis’ versatility made him one of the best in the biz.

The incredible Kay Parker and her husband, Aaron Stuart are a married couple who hate each other, though he still wants on-demand sex when he gets home from work. He bullies Kay out of her one-piece jumpsuit, releasing her stupendously large tits and full bush, then fucking her silly before spurting cum up her belly. In true selfish form, he rolls over and falls asleep leaving her to finger her gorgeous slit to orgasm.

As stellar as are those first few scenes, the real fireworks begin after St. James calls a PTA meeting to discuss the current state of the school. While she preaches the necessity for strong parenting and ethics, what transpires afterward is anything but. Jamie Gillis fills his daughter’s mouth with cum; John Leslie fucks Juliet Anderson and then her daughter, Dorothy, as mom masturbates outside the room. Then, mom and daughter hook up with mom burying her face in Dorothy’s twat; Pacheco hooks up with St. James after he reads his overtly sexual report to her; and in the last scene Leslie, Ken Scudder, Lee LeMay and John Seeman gangbang St. James under threat of running her and her hoity-toity moral code out of town on a rail.

An astonishing adult film ‘Vista Valley P.T.A.’ unflinchingly brings the sin in the suburbs to the screen with amazing realism as the students of Vista Valley High School and their parents mix it up sexually among themselves and each other! It’s a nest of sex perversion, greed and out-and-out lust. From classroom to boardrooms to bedrooms, ‘Vista Valley P.T.A.’ is simply amazing.

Stars: Dorothy LeMay Jessie St. James Kay Parker Desiree West Sharon Kane Richard Pacheco Kitty Shayne Juliet Anderson Jamie Gillis John Leslie Aaron Stuart

Categories: Classic 80’s Feature

Running Time: 85 minutes

Released: 02/1981

Studio Name: Cal Vista Classic

Director: Anthony Spinelli

Dear Fanny

January 24, 2011

Los Angeles, like many coastal cities, is a melting pot of people and cultures and the one thing that unites it all is sex. Every person in every profession craves sex, but when emotions and feelings get involved it can lead to problems. Often times the individuals with the problems are unable to solve them on their own. Therefore, they need someone to intervene to help generate solutions. That’s where Dear Fanny comes in.

Played by Janey Robbins, Dear Fanny is the wisest love guru of them all (even better than Michael Myers), dispensing the best advice on love, marriage, swinging and sex, and her newspaper column is read by more people than any other. This self-titled film offers a behind-the-scenes look at the life and exploits of The Queen of Confessions.

Flanked by two horny assistants, Rolf (Ron Jeremy) and Beth (Gina Carrera), Dear Fanny plunges into the heartfelt letters from advice-seekers as Rolf plunges his cock and tongue into Beth. It’s one of the many running gags throughout the film. But, as dysfunctional as the entire operation seems to be, it cannot match the warped and twisted problems of Dear Fanny’s letter-writing fans.

One woman (Rachel) loves morning sex, but thinks she’s strange for fantasizing about domination beforehand. Harry (Richard Bolla), whom you might remember as Mr. Greenfield the sporting goods store owner in Debbie Does Dallas, can’t get a hard-on unless his sex contains an element of danger. A regular at a pastry shop (Jerry Davis) develops a crush on a rather large pastry shop employee (Severa Lee). A hospital patient (Erica Collins) gets taken advantage of every time she goes to the gynecologist (Nick Random). And another guy develops relationship problems when his wife (Mimi Danielle) after she goes to culinary school. It’s a storyline that hits a little too close to home for Rolf as you will see.

You’ll also bear witness to some good masturbation action poolside, femdom, pussy eating, doggie fucking, leather, collars, cumshots, maid fucking, voyeurism, forced orgasms, strawberries and eggs in twats, and whipped topping and sprinkles on cocks and pussies. There are threesomes, orgies, fucking in spaghetti, roller skates, tan bodies contrasting with bare white asses, and lots of cumshots onto all kinds of body parts. And as with most classic porn titles, there are TONS of bad one-liners and sight gags. If you’re not paying attention, you may miss them.

Dear Fanny is Ron Jeremy in his prime and a barely legal Amber Lynn (credited in the film as Amber Lin). It’s not just one of the best of its day, but a timeless film that all porn fans will love.

Stars: Janey Robbins Pamela Jennings Severa Lee Tantala Ray Deidra Hopkins Mimi Danielle Jerry David Ron Jeremy Nikki Randall Amber Lynn Robert Bullock Billy Dee Dino Alexander Melanie Scott Gina Carrera Mindy Rae Nick Random Jay Serling Lois Ayres Richard Bolla Lei Pettite