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Top Picks for the Weekend 04/28/11

April 28, 2011

Keepin’ It Real (Vouyer Media)

It’s been said that, as a performer, you always want to go out on top. But what about female porn stars? Maybe it’s better for them to go out on the bottom. Or maybe they would be best suited going out on the side or from behind. While it’s an interesting theory (not really), Jack Napier is certainly going out on top. For three years straight, the porn mainstay’s series “It’s Big, It’s Black, It’s Jack,” has won AVN’s coveted Best Interracial Series award. Now, he’s moving on (or in) to other smaller and younger things. In the brand new venture, “Keepin’ it Real” released by Vouyer Media, Jack is transitioning from buxom white bombshells, to cutie patootie 18 and 19-year-old achromatic younglets.

Torrie Madison is from Anaheim, but doesn’t seem to have much confidence. Thank goodness she and Jack are at a fix-it shop because he’ll fix that problem right quick. Torrie is unbelievably cute and has perfectly suckable little tits. She says she’s up for anything, but she doesn’t know what she’s in for. His cock is literally as big as her arm. Thank goodness pussies stretch, but can hers stretch enough? Tristyn Kennedy meets up with Jack at the barbershop. He’s getting a shave and a trim. She’s getting starstruck. She’s about to be cockstruck. Giselle Leon has just messed up some of Jack’s promotional posters and then has the gall to suggest his cock might be Photoshopped on his box covers. Jack proves otherwise and Giselle proves she can take a cream pie. Heather Starlet claims she’s never done this kind of thing before, but that’s hard to believe with a name like “Starlet”. The truth is she did appear in “It’s Big, It’s Black, It’s Jack” Volume 10, but wasn’t doing interracial at the time, so her statement is partially accurate. That all changes right here as she fucks Jack at the tattoo parlor. Now her statement is complete bullshit. Jessi Palmer has killer blue eyes to go along with her raven hair and amazing blowjob skills. She takes Jack’s cock for a spin in her hairy pussy and gets a creampie for her troubles.

“Jack’s Napier’s Keepin’ It Real” is packed with the same hot interracial action and lighthearted fun that’s made Jack a permanent fixture at the AVN awards.

Stars: Torrie Madison Velicity Von Jack Napier Heather Starlet Jessi Palmer Lexi Brooks Tristyn Kennedy

Categories: New Release Big Dick Interracial Gonzo Black Dicks/White Chicks

Running Time: 177 minutes

Released: 02/2011

Studio Name: Vouyer Media

Director: Jack Napier

Monsters of Jizz 32: Teen POV (Image Video)

The names don’t matter; they never did. In this decidedly wicked series full of the most ridiculously huge cumshots ever, the sperm is the star, not the girls. But these lovely teens are definitely a means to the end and if it weren’t for them teasing the cum out of these cocks we never would have had the wondrous spectacle that is the Monsters of Jizz series. In this newest volume by the boys at Image Video, an assortment of young hotties of all shapes and cup sizes participate in some POV cocksucking as they attempt to prove that they have the mettle to be your girlfriend. And after watching these tiny tarts take pulse after pulse of sticky stuff into their faces and onto their tits, what’s our verdict? Um … we’ll have to watch it again … you know, to be absolutely sure, but we promise we’ll get back to you.

Categories: Blowjob Cumshot New Release Teen Gonzo P.O.V.

Running Time: 53 minutes

Released: 03/2011

Studio Name: Image Video

Series: Monsters of Jizz

The Dollhouse 7 (Zero Tolerance)

Remember when you used to play with dolls? Now, before you get all defensive or start to question your masculinity, we want to point out that the term “play” includes that time you carjacked Barbie’s pink corvette at gunpoint, driving to her dream house and massacring Ken and Skipper by twisting off their rubbery heads to the dismay of your little sister. Since we’ve reached an understanding, the real truth is that we probably would have played with dolls a lot more if they only had more moving parts. It’s tough to do a whole lot of wartime fantasy re-enactments and daredevil stunts with characters whose knees are fused to their femurs and whose hips and elbows can only bend at acute angles. Unless you’re marketing “Stuck in Carbonite Ken” or “See You at the Viewing Barbie”, dolls simply don’t have a lot of traction for guys. Well, men, your long wait is about to payoff once again with volume 7 of the Zero Tolerance series The Doll House. This time, the dolls are all grown up and they are real from head to toe: 206 bones, pretty faces, 2 tits, 3 critical orifices and the ability to produce translucent fluids upon contact. That means you’ll be more inclined to skip battles of the bulge or Vietnam reclamation projects and go for some ass fucking, rim jobbing and blowjob-based fantasy play. Just make sure you’re home before dark.

Stars: Black Angelica Cindy Hope Blue Angel Aleska Diamond Kathia Nobili Nick Lang Csoky Ice Ian Scott David Perry

Categories: Big Tits Gonzo

Running Time: 129 minutes

Released: 11/2010

Studio Name: Zero Tolerance

Series: The Doll House

Director: Mick Blue

Featured Studio: DDF Productions

April 27, 2011

Europe is known for gorgeous, stacked women, many of whom we get off on watching in some of the world’s most hardcore porn. Have you seen that graphic that shows you the average cup size of women in countries all over the world? It shows that countries all over Europe top the list of top-heavy ladies, averaging greater than a D cup. It’s no wonder Euro porn gives us many of our favorite big tit movies.

More than six years ago, DDF Productions went live on the web with a porn site called 1ByDay. Every day, a different Euro hottie was featured and most of them were of the continent’s famously busty silhouette. These days, the company has thousands of viewers on its various sites along with thousands more who watch its movies on our VOD Theater.

DDF’s newest release is “Carmen Seduces Claudio,” featuring the gorgeous and bodacious Carmen Croft. Little is known about this thoroughly hot, black-haired, twenty-something beauty, but all we really need to know is that she loves sucking and riding a hard cock and looks great doing so! The hypnotic sight of her perfect tits during this 30-minute video will stick with you for a long time.

If big naturals are your favorite kind of tits, then “DDF Busty” is the stuff of generously-breasted dreams. Hot Czech box cover babe Constance Devil and her 38DDs lead a cast of boobalicious women that will make you want to move to Europe. Constance’s scene with Joe Monti makes playful use of a blindfold. Anal fans will get off on Luba Love’s sensual way of taking a cock in her ass. Katalin, like the others, gives her partner a sweet titty-fuck but hers just might be the most likely to make you erupt!

At only 25 minutes long, “Busty Massage with Sandy and Lola” is just about the perfect length for a nice, slow build-up to an explosive finish. It’s an all-girl festival of boobage with two girls who, without speaking a word, worship each other’s titties the way only women know how. First there’s some nice footage of them pressing and rubbing their fleshy tits together, but for the most part this is all about the nipple sucking and plenty of oil-slicked breast massage. If your favorite part of girl-on-girl action is the breast play, then this is the movie for you. You’re also likely to get your kicks with “Elli Jordan and Shione Cooper.”

If you’re more of a leg man or foot fetishist, then DDF has you covered with “Hot Legs and Feet.” German girls have fun with each other or with a lucky man while wearing sexy stockings or bare skin – whatever will best show off their lovely legs and dainty feet.

DDF Productions has a small but seriously hot catalogue of movies for anyone who loves the sensual beauty of European women. Even better, most of their movies are in high definition.

Coming Soon! Secretary’s Day 5

April 27, 2011

Happy Administrative Professional’s Day, or as it used to be known…Secretary’s Day! Over the years, this holiday has become one of the largest workplace observances. The event is celebrated worldwide through community events, social gatherings, and individual corporate activities recognizing support staff with gifts. In the United States, the day is often celebrated by giving one’s assistant gifts such as flowers, candy, trinkets, lunch at a restaurant, or time off.

So how are we celebrating? By announcing that Smash Pictures has another installment of their highly successful series, Secretary’s Day, ready for launch on AEBN in only a few short months! Take a memo and meet the office staff:

Cytherea, who squirts while skyping with her fiancee overseas, while being spied on and joined by her co-workers Lylith and Billy.

Tiffany Brookes and April O’Neil, who enjoy using the copier for pussy portraits, then banging their boss when caught.

Nicole Aniston, who receives and demands spankings from her boss.

Chanel Preston, who more than assists the young executives she works with,

Office manager Yurizan Beltran, who fucks the deliveryman in the reception area.

Smash Pictures once again brings us sassy and sexy secretaries who want nothing more than to assist you with all of your office needs. So take a moment to celebrate some of the previous movies in the series, and a sticky note on your monitor to remind yourself to…well, get sticky!…when Secretary’s Day 5 starts showing on your favorite AEBN theater.

Watch the full series!

Office Seductions 2

April 26, 2011

Is it really any wonder that the office romance fantasy is such an appealing sexual outlet these days? With people working longer hours and perhaps more jobs than ever before due to a tanking economy, many of us spend more of our waking hours these days roaming fields of cubicles than we do chilling at the homestead. That means we have more time than ever before to strike up a conversation with the new girl in accounting, rub elbows with that sexy executive or, better yet, bump uglies with that co-worker we’ve lusted after for months.

The problem is that office shenanigans are generally considered taboo at most companies. Management knows that it’s not the romance that necessarily hurts the bottom line, it’s the inevitable break-up that can take chunks out of productivity and damage company prospects. That’s why there is usually an anti-fraternization policy in most corporate employee handbooks. All that does, however, is add a forbidden fruit component to any potential target, which makes it even more appealing.

When you work long hours with corporate cuties and you are explicitly not allowed to resolve pent up feelings the natural way, it provides fertile ground for fantasy. And that’s where Nica Noelle comes in. She’s built a pretty solid career displaying on film our natural inclinations to want sex even under the most rudimentary conditions. Her ability to tap into casual situations and root out the thoughts and desires that all of us have had at one time or another is what makes her work so accessible and so appealing. What’s more is that all of the sex in her films is real and raw, which starts to sound like a broken record considering the number of times we’ve driven that point home, though it’s no less a critical part of what makes her work so successful. That and the intriguing storylines she intersperses throughout the hot action.

In Office Seductions 2, blonde MILF bombshell, Julia Ann, is a marketing and advertising head who has finally landed an account she’s been working on for years. Well, almost. She and her team get one crack to come up with something astounding for a local jewelry outfit or they are out of further consideration. To spur creativity and competitiveness, she divides her team into pairs, promising the winners a hefty raise and a new title.

The problem is there are seven team members, but only six of them made the meeting. Spanish stud Toni Ribas is the odd man out, picked to be Julia’s “special project”, which is code for “you were about to get fired from the Madrid office and I want to fuck you, so I saved your ass. Now I own you.” She certainly owns his cock, devouring the head and shaft before stripping out of her professional garb to reveal her pale shapely body and enormous tits. The two fuck in a chair, on the desk and drape themselves over just about any office furniture they can find. He pauses periodically to slather her gash with saliva then fucks her doggie from behind. Their sweaty bodies collide in RCG and she finishes him off with a very wet blowjob.

As Julia’s fire rages, Anthony Rosano and Melissa Monet are just starting to throw off sparks as are Jynx Maze and Rocco Reed. Cece Stone notices Rocco’s moves and alerts her project partner Michael Vegas that he shouldn’t trust Rocco with his girlfriend. Though the two were admittedly getting pretty chummy, Cece takes the opportunity to convince Michael that he can do better and she moves in on Michael during his moment of weakness. Wouldn’t you know it the precise time Rocco needs to get a soda from the breakroom is when Michael and Cece are getting more familiar with one another. Michael devotes extra time introducing himself to her natural little tits and fur-covered mound. But Michael brought his friend Peter along and Cece takes a real liking to him instantly covering Peter’s head in butterfly kisses. She then takes Peter for a grand tour of her pussy starting from the rear entrance. They fuck spoon-style and then in mish just before Peter spits his stuff onto Cece’s bush. Now is that gratitude?

Of course, the little drama queen Cece tells Jynx that Michael came on to her, which is the complete opposite of what really happened. But when Rocco spills the beans about why he didn’t bring back any soda from the breakroom the other evening Jynx sees the writing on the wall, however illegible and nonsensical it may be. But when one fly closes, another fly opens and Jynx uses the bad news as an excuse to fall into Rocco’s arms where sure enough that new fly opens. A marvelous blowjob follows and Rocco takes a turn planting his face into Jynx’s wet snatch. He fucks her doggie, CG in a spinny office chair and then mish on the desk where you get prime viewing of Jynx’s gorgeous natural tits, stiff nipples and enticing slit. He shoots his wad into her pussy and you get a short glimpse of the ooze running out of her hole, though Rocco quickly positions his fingers on Jynx’s clit to bring her to a spirited orgasm.

The film concludes as Melissa has just finished composing her killer advertising slogan. Unfortunately for her, she thinks out loud too much and Toni Ribas overhears the idea. Knowing he’s on thin ice aside from being a fuck toy, he immediately contacts Julia to deliver what turns out to be the winning tag line. Does Melissa swallow her pride for a second time in her long career or does she blow the whistle on Toni’s conniving ways?

Watch Office Seductions 2 from Sweet Sinner and find out!

Stars: Jynx Maze Julia Ann Toni Ribas Melissa Monet Anthony Rosano Rocco Reed Cece Stone Michael Vegas

Categories: New Release Feature For Ladies High Definition

Running Time: 150 minutes

Released: 04/2011

Studio Name: Mile High Media Sweet Sinner

Series: Office Seductions

Director: Nica Noelle

Expose Me Now

April 25, 2011

There’s nothing quite like a Bible story gone backwards to serve as the backdrop for a classic porn film. In Expose Me Now, Herschel Savage and Ron Jeremy are brothers Shane and Able, two very different peas from the same pod. Shane is a goody-goody, a guy who upholds the loftiest ideals of a well-oiled and properly functioning society while Able is a fraud, a charlatan, a guy who thinks no further into the future than the next second, a guy whose caring and concern for fellow men runs no further than the clasp of his cufflinks.

The film begins at the reading of their uncle’s will at which point Able discovers he receives “jack shit” for being “rotten to the core”. Meanwhile, Shane receives his entire fortune provided he continues on with the work to which his uncle dedicated his whole life – being a boy scout. That’s not boy scout in a figurative sense, but a literal one. He has the uniform and everything.

Of course, feeling spurned beyond belief, Able concocts a plan to get back at Shane. Knowing the life of a helper and a healer is a lonely one, Able drifts off into la-la land, imagining what he would do to get back at his brother were he one to actually like or even talk to girls.

In the first scene, Able pops the cherry of his brother’s virgin wife, first by finger and then by cock. He’s in his tux and she in her wedding dress (though not for long), but the duds come off and he gets off fucking her mish and doggie while organ music provides the musical accompaniment to the cumshot across her belly.

Considering Able’s real job is conning people through the use of a supercomputer that lists all his clients’ sexual weaknesses, he devises a scheme to have his assistant seduce his brother into being late for his scouting duties. In doing so, Shane will have to forfeit his uncle’s house and Able can cash in. Will his ruse work? You’ll have to watch and see, but that shouldn’t be too trying on you as this film is packed to the gills with huge cocks, furry bush, threesomes, spanking, lesbian pussy eating, toy play and even a great scene in the kitchen involving various food items.

Expose Me Now is classic XXX at its finest. Filmed in his prime, Ron Jeremy shows off his phenomenal acting skills and infamous sexual talent.

Stars: Angel Burgeon Danielle Martin Howard Darkley Dana Moore Paul Thomas Ron Jeremy Don Fernando Herschel Savage Richard Pacheco K.C. Valentine Lynx Cannon Brooke Bennett Michael Morrison

Categories: Feature Classic 80’s Gold

Running Time: 79 minutes

Released: 01/1983

Studio Name: Cal Vista Classic

Director: Joe Sherman

20 Insane Movie Star XXX Parodies

April 25, 2011

via TotalFilm.com

1. Tina Fey

The Movie Star: Forget Sarah Silverman’s OTT fireworks. If you’re looking for the funniest woman in comedy, you need look no further than Tina Fey.

Best Known For: In celluloid terms, she wrote and starred in Mean Girls and scored box-office pleasing laughs opposite Steve Carell in Date Night. However, she’s best known as bespectacled uber-nerd Liz Lemon, her alter-ego on superlative sitcom 30 Rock.

XXX Version: 30 Rock: A XXX Parody, in which Tina is subbed out for Lisa Ann, the current holder of the XBIZ “Milf Of The Year” award for 2011. Weirdly enough, she was also the star of Who’s Nailin Palin? as Sarah Palin, a role Fey has played herself on Saturday Night Live. Needless to say, she approached the role from a slightly different angle…

2. Harrison Ford

The Movie Star: Gruff man of action, willing to go head to head with terrorists, Nazis, aliens and whatever else you can throw at him.

Best Known For: Some might say Han Solo, but we’d argue that whip-cracking adventurer Indiana Jones remains Mr. Ford’s signature role.

XXX Version: Carolina Jones & The Broken Covenant, in which Harrison finds himself replaced by Ava Rose. She plays the eponymous Carolina Jones, daughter of Indiana, who must shag her way through hordes of villainous Nazis in order to recover the holy grail. Sounds awful doesn’t it? Then again, what would you rather watch…this or Crystal Skull?

3. Uma Thurman

The Movie Star: Occasional rom-com botherer and frequent muse of Quentin Tarantino. Just don’t mention Batman & Robin…

Best Known For: It’s a toss-up between The Bride and Mia Wallace…we’re going to plump for the latter, because it lends itself quite nicely to a pun-tastic porn spoof…

XXX Version: Yep, you guessed it…this one is called Pulp Friction. Ava Rose stars again, but she is somewhat upstaged by The Gimp. Unsurprisingly, his role has been beefed up a little for the porn version…

4. Johnny Depp

The Movie Star: Perma-quirky indie darling, and third wheel in the Helena Bonham Carter-Tim Burton marriage.

Best Known For: His swaggering, sniggering heroics as Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise. Watch out for the fourth money-spinning installment arriving this summer…

XXX Version: Pirates, the Digital Playground epic in which Jesse Jane takes over chief swashbuckling duties (if you know what we mean). The film was so successful it spawned an even more lavish sequel, with over 600 special effects making it the most expensive adult film ever made.

5. Ashley Williams & Ashlynn Yennie

The Movie Stars: Who? Ah, yes. Ashley and Ashlynn were the two lucky girls who starred in The Human Centipede. If you’re wondering which was which, Ashley was the one in the middle…

Best Known For: The aforementioned body-horror debacle. You really have to wonder how desperate for work you’d need to be before you said yes to that script.

XXX Version: The Human Sexipede of course! Because who didn’t come out of The Human Centipede musing, “I wish they’d make a porno out of that”? This time around the mad doc plans to attach his three patients via their “sexual canals” so that they “enjoy the moment of orgasm forever.” Sheesh…

6. Steve Carell

The Movie Star: Hollywood’s doofus du jour, Carell has made a career out of titting-about, and very good at it he is too!

Best Known For: Despite his myriad outings as a big-screen funnyman, Carell’s defining role has to be Michael Scott, the monstrously clueless boss in The Office: An American Workplace. It doesn’t get any bigger than that…(that’s what she said.)

XXX Version: The Office: A XXX Parody, in which Michael Scott has become Michelle Scott, as played by Ashlynn Brooke. Surprisingly, this is actually pretty funny (the “that’s what she said” jokes are a happy inclusion) which makes it all the more bizarre when the cast start getting their kit off!

7. Zoe Saldana

The Movie Star: Tinseltown’s newest go-to girl for kick-ass action heroines, although there will still be plenty who won’t recognise her without the blue skin…

Best Known For: She was in this movie that came out a couple of years ago…hang on a minute, it’ll come to us. Um…Avatar? Does that sound right?

XXX Version: Hustler redefined the term “blue movie” with This Ain’t Avatar XXX, in which the few subtleties found in the original movie are blasted out of the water by a string of hi-octane sex scenes. Parody stalwart Evan Stone’s pitch perfect spoof of Colonel Quaritch is worth the admission fee alone!

8. Ted Danson

The Movie Star: He might not spend much time on the big screen these days, but once upon a time, Ted Danson meant bums on seats! May we refer you to the Three Men series…?

Best Known For: Hilariously peeling his skin off during the finale of Three Men And A Little Lady…no, alright, he’s a TV star first and foremost, and a bloody good one at that. Cheers is obviously the show he’s most closely associated with, but they couldn’t possibly film a Porno based on that…could they?

XXX Version: They could and they have in the form of Cheers: A XXX Parody. Daft as it may sound, you can’t knock some of the dialogue. When asked “how’s it going?”, Norm replies, “it’s going down like a two-dollar whore when you hand her a fifty…nice and easy.” Zing!

9. Jessica Simpson

The Movie Star: Reality telly harridan done-good, Jessica Simpson nearly gave poor Willy Nelson a heart attack when she poured herself into a pair of hot-pants for a Daisy Duke-themed music video. That would have been all well and good, but sadly, there was a full-length movie to go with it…

Best Known For: The aforementioned comedy car-crash in which the combined charm of Johnny Knoxville, Seann William Scott and Burt Reynolds can’t drag a dire script out of the mire.

XXX Version: Vouyer Media‘s Not Really…The Dukes Of Hazzard (starring Ryder Skye), in which all the witless capering of the real movie is present and correct, only now with added nudity. That bumps it up a star in our book!

10. Malcolm McDowell

The Movie Star: Captain Kirk-slaying ne’er do well with one of the most intense glowers in contemporary cinema. Be careful not to look him in the eyes lest you turn into stone.

Best Known For: His milk-quaffing, slang-spouting, rape-dispensing turn as Alex De Large in Kubrick’s seminal adaptation of A Clockwork Orange. Haven’t viddied it yet? Shame on you.

XXX Version: Alex De Large becomes a delectable lady-hooligan in A Clockwork Orgy, and guess what? She still drinks “milk”! Only this time it doesn’t come from a glass…

(more…)

On the Wet Spot with Gemma Massey

April 23, 2011

We don’t know how the Brits do it. Their women either look like Margaret Thatcher or Elizabeth Hurley. Luckily for us, Bluebird Films likes to work with the later, producing some of the most original and award-winning movies out there and featuring the most beautiful women in the world. With offices in the UK as well as the US, they’ve managed to find international talent that keep us motivated for more, and you can imagine our eagerness to grab the gorgeous Gemma Massey for some Wet Spot action! Only a few short years ago, Gemma was holding down two jobs, trying to make ends meet as a full time dental nurse and part time bar maid. Now she is one of the UK’s top glamour models, and has spent time promoting Hustler lingerie as well as gracing the pages of Playboy‘s UK edition. She’s now shooting hardcore content exclusively for Bluebird, and we can’t wait to get our hands on it!

You’re making dinner – what are we having?

Mmmm I would have to make Shepards pie….. My favorite and it tastes amazing

You and I go out for drinks – what’s your preferred beverage?

That’s easy it would be double vodka and red bull

Your favorite piece of lingerie is:

Has to be my body stocking!

I think my best physical feature is:

My smile…it cost enough!

My favorite physical feature on someone else is:

Has to be their smile…. and good teeth

What is your favorite holiday and how do you celebrate it?

My favorite holiday (vacation) would have to be going to the Cannes Film Festival…I love it there…. Nice food…Amazing clothes …Good shopping…. Amazing restaurants

The easiest thing you can do to make me happy is:

I love it when you spend quality time with a person…. for example a romantic picnic in the park

Favorite place to vacation is:

Las Vegas

What movie can you watch over and over?