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Apr 21 2011

Top Picks for the Weekend 04/21/11

Too Big For Teens 6 (Reality Junkies)

Maybe the teens are just too small for the cocks. Did anyone ever think of that? Probably not. It’s always easier to blame the cocks than it is to place responsibility at the feet of some diminutive little hussies when there is a failure to launch. Blame the rocket if you have to, but is it the rocket’s fault if the launch pad is too tiny? We suppose that pointing fingers at an inanimate object like a giant penis instead of a real life human helps everyone’s ego feel good, but in the end, isn’t it the penis that is more likely to make everyone feel good? (Did we just blow your mind or what?) Anyway, before you get too leery about checking out this film, keep in mind that the sixth volume of the Too Big for Teens franchise is much like those “When Can Openers Go Bad” type shows. That is, television networks cannot show maiming and death and things like that, which means you know the idiots in those shows did not suffer irreparable damage. Same thing applies here. Eventually, the shame and embarrassment of not being able to fit a cock into a pussy while filming porn is replaced with jubilance and the thrill of overcoming all odds. What you get then are five girls using any means necessary – blowjobs, footjobs, ballsucking and more – to get what they want. By “more” we’re referring to little Amai Liu taking it up the bum in order to be the teacher’s star pupil.

If you love watching people try to stuff enormous round pegs into ludicrously petite holes, then the Too Big for Teens series is just what you’ve been looking for.

Stars:   Amai Liu Heather Starlet Lily Carter Lizz Tayler Tasha Reign

Categories: New Release Big Dick Teen International All Sex High Definition

Running Time:   120 minutes

Released:   04/2011

Studio Name:   Mile High Media Reality Junkies

Series:   Too Big For Teens

Director:   Bobby Manila

 

I Can’t Believe I Knocked Up Two Sluts (Lethal Hardcore)

Guys: if you’re going to fuck around with multiple women, do yourself a favor and wrap that thing up. You can’t always rely on the women to take their pills and you already know that when you assume, you make an “um”out of a “self-addressed stamped envelope”  … or something like that. Besides, any girlfriend of yours willing to trick around with her best friend and the landlord, her best friend and step-dad or even her best friend and you, doing threeways, handjobs, 69, daisy chains and rim jobs, is probably not the most reliable when it comes to administering her medication. And even if she looks you in the eye, cuts a bargain involving needles, the crossing of hearts and prayers for death can you really trust her? Shame on you if you replied “yes” to that question because, as you’ll see in I Can’t Believe I Knocked Up Two Sluts, by Lethal Hardcore, these girls aren’t about to be forthright when they’re being leveraged for rent and other things. They’ll play that game all day including allowing themselves to get preggo just to have a debt forgiven. While the whole scenario is a mess, it sure is fun watching these guys and gals make it, that’s for damn sure! In this one, Jynx Maze and Shay Golden get knocked up by Jynx’s boyfriend. Then, Alexia Rae and Charley Chase take on Talon. After he drops the bomb into them, they drop the bomb that neither is on birth control. Darcy Tyler and Ashlynn Leigh work over Billy Glide, which will force him to work overtime to cough up the child support. Miya Monroe and Hayden Night (whom you might remember from the Mother Daughter Exchange Club films) are behind on rent, but make it up to their landlord in the form of sexual favors. So much for the eviction proceedings now, buster.

To any guys willing to get mixed up in this kind of shit, we say: caveat emptor, which is Latin for “buyer beware”. Perhaps a better Latin phrase might be “coitus interruptus”.  Learn it. Know it. Live it.

 

Stars:   Jynx Maze Shay Golden Miya Monroe Alyssa Branch Billy Glide Talon Charley Chase Hayden Night Darcy Tyler Alexia Rae

Categories: Cumshot New Release All Sex Cream Pies Threeway High Definition

Running Time:   132 minutes

Released:   04/2011

Studio Name:   Lethal Hardcore

Director:   Stoney Curtis

 

Monsters of Jizz 31: Step-Dad’s a Pervert (Image Video)

 

The Monsters of Jizz series is fascinating for a number of reasons: the cute girls, the insanely huge firehose cumblasts and the spectacle of it all. But the overlooked component is the fact that it’s about the only series we can think of where the talent is completely insignificant. Take a look if you will at the hyperlinks below. What do you see? More appropriately, what don’t you see? You don’t see a list of stars. That’s because the cumshots are the stars. It doesn’t matter whether the girls are tall, short, cute, ugly, black, white, bald, hairy, slow, nimble, dead or alive because they’re all going to get pelted in the mug by cumshots so extreme you won’t believe your eyes … Okay, we’ve just been informed it does, in fact, matter that the girls are alive because their reactions to getting riddled by penile reflux is what sells these films. Listen: we die-hard porn lovers constantly watch 29 minutes and 53 seconds of fucking just to get to the 7 seconds of reward at the end. If for no other reason, that’s why you need to check out this series. These cumshots just about double the reward, meaning you get way more for your money shot. It’s all about porn value, people, and Monsters of Jizz delivers every time!

Categories: Amateur Blowjob Cumshot New Release Teen All Sex

Running Time:   52 minutes

Released:   03/2011

Studio Name:   Image Video

Series:   Monsters of Jizz