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Feb 03 2011

Top Picks for the Weekend 02/03/11

Big Black Dick in my Teen Ass (K-Beech)

Are assholes the same age as the rest of our body parts? How do you know?

As we age, our hair tends to turn gray – one of the primary signs of getting older. When there isn’t any hair to clue in by-standers, lines and wrinkles tend to betray us just as easily. That brings us back to the asshole question. Excluding the off chance that someone’s bum star has a ridge of stray grays running ’round the circumference, all we have to go by is what we see. And what we see is a wrinkly volcanic cleft of fenced in negative space. So, could it be our brown eyes really are more aged than the rest of us? Who knows, but it’s interesting to think about, eh? No, not really, but what is interesting is why we even raised the issue to begin with. Well, whether or not you want to believe that your birthday encompasses all your relevant bodily tissue or the bulk of it is up to you, but what can’t be questioned is that use and abuse of said body parts can lead to pre-mature aging. Such appears to be the case for the women in Big Black Dick in my Teen Ass. The truth is these sluts need to be dumped off in a geriatrics ward. They have sucked, fucked and taken so many huge black cocks into their rears that the permanence of lines and crags around their mouths and the failing elasticity of their butts-eyes is starting to take hold. While that’s great for those of you who appreciate a good sword-swallowing act or spear fishing expedition, it does make the girls look less the part of innocent teen and more the part of experienced slut trying to take years off her complexion through the use of pigtails. It shouldn’t at all dissuade you from enjoying Joachim Kessef brutalize Sabrina, Katya and Xandy in separate scenes using his meat tenderizer. It shouldn’t keep you from reveling in everywhere guy L.T. as he ravages Bobbie Star. And it shouldn’t prevent you from gawking at the one-and-only Sledge Hammer (whose brawn and mutton chops you may recall from Mom’s Baking Brownies) as he takes on Kimberly Kole and Charlie Lexington simultaneously. There are loads of ATMs, DPs, threeways and anal creampies to keep you fully engaged and the K-Beech boys are right on point with this one.

Stars:   Sabrina Sledge Hammer Katja Joachim Kessef L.T. Turner Kimberly Kole Wesley Charlie Lexington Xandy (f) Bobbie Starr

Categories: Anal New Release Big Dick Teen All Sex Black Dicks/White Chicks

Running Time:   126 minutes

Released:   11/2010

Studio Name:   Baby Doll Pictures K-Beech

Phuck Girl #8 (Justin Slayer)

Not that we have time to watch it with all the porn we gotta view, but a few years ago, American Idol devised a “Do Not Sing” list. The purpose was to prevent John “I-Think-I-Have-Talent” Doe and Jill “Maybe-I’ll-Get-The-Hollywood-Golden-Ticket-If-My-Boobs-Are-Hanging-Out-Because-I Obviously-Have-No-Singing-Ability” Doe from warbling through yet another Edwin McCain or Aretha Franklin number. Let’s take this one step further and apply this to porn. We hereby decree that no new female stars shall use the names Lexi, Love, Angel, or Star in any part of their stage name. These monikers have lost all meaning after repeated abuses by girls that turn out to be “has beens” and “never weres”. Now that we’ve got that out of our system, the name Justin Slayer is a “currently is”, racking up film after film of some of the freakiest fucking this side of Freaktonia. Directed by Nat Turnher (newly misspelled Nat Turner), Phuck Girl #8 is an inspired and inspiring collective of big butt beauties taking on Nat’s large black dick in a gonzo format. Take a look at Havana Ginger for starters. Not only does this lovely have some groovy booty, but her areolas are the most insane things you may ever witness. They look like she dipped her tits in pancake batter and fucked on a griddle. Life may be nothing but a funny, funny riddle, but this pint-sized Cuban cutie has a body to die for, though it’s mostly to fuck for. You may recall her from Gag Holes, but if not you can forge some new memories here. Brooke Banner is a smoking hot blonde angel, with an interminable wild streak. Kendra Starr and the appropriately-named Lethal Lipps team up for some 69 action and rim jobbing escapades. And you’ll also get a taste of Kayme Kai and Lexi Brooks (sigh!) Hey, that rhymes! Phuck Girl 8 is phantastic.

Stars:   Havana Ginger Nat Turner Lethal Lipps Kayme Kai Lexi Brooks Brooke Banner Kendra Starr

Categories: New Release Big Dick Interracial Gonzo Black Dicks/White Chicks Big Butt

Running Time:   100 minutes

Released:   12/2010

Studio Name:   Justin Slayer Productions

Series:   Phuck Girl

Director:   Nat TurnHer

MILF and Honey #15 (RodnieVision)

Tradition is important. And before books and paper and blogs, family stories and secrets were passed down generation to generation via word of mouth. It was oral history that sustained us as individuals and as families for hundreds of years. In MILF and Honey #15, the boys over at RodnieVision understand how critical it is to keep traditions alive, which is why they have reverted back to the passing on of history the way it should be: in an oral fashion. These MILFs are showing the precocious young ones all their deep, dark and throaty secrets on a few very lucky stiffs. Whether or not the guys signed waivers agreeing not to divulge their newfound carnal knowledge is unknown, though it would behoove them to shut their cake holes if they wish to continue to reap their rewards. Sophia Lomeli is about to evict Rodney Moore for shooting porn in the apartment he rents. However, Sophia agrees not to tell if he’ll be her bitch. She ends up being his bitch after all. Jynx Maze is scolded by Clare Dames for not wearing attire that is appropriate for the office. It is totally appropriate if you want easily accessible naughty parts. Both chicks take on designated office whore Barry Scott’s bulbous baton. Laynie Summers is a real estate agent who is trying to sell an apartment, but Rodnie’s busy filming sex nearby, which puts off prospective buyers. Laynie pays him a visit to work out a compromise, but she ends up compromising her morals in an S&M scene full of dog leads, leather flails, running mascara, cock-whipped faces and spanking. Amanda Blow exercises her namesake on her beau, Dane Cross, during a backyard romp at twilight. And Rayveness visits Sir Rodney to get a massage. He’s just out of massage training school, but he’s a pro at making her feel good – just not with his hands.

Stars:   Claire Dames Jynx Maze Laynie Summer Rodney Moore Rayveness Barry Scott Dane Cross Sophia Lomeli Amanda Blow

Categories: Anal New Release Interracial All Sex M.I.L.F. Black Dicks/White Chicks

Running Time:   162 minutes

Released:   11/2010

Studio Name:   Rodnievision

Series:   Milf And Honey

Director:   Rodney Moore