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Nov 22 2010

Pussycat Ranch

If the girls-on-trampolines moment that occurs at the start of this film, with horses instead of trampolines, doesn’t grab you from the get-go, you may not be alive. There is nothing better than bouncing, slow-motion breasts, up in the saddle, riding the prairie to a poor imitation Grand Funk Railroad soundtrack. Well, there might be, but we haven’t yet found it.

The girls, Candi, Randi and Andi (Samantha Fox, Daisey Mae and Colleen Anderson) are on their way back to their homestead in the country. Along with Ma Belle (Molly Malone) and the hired hand Johnboy (Roger Caine), they are living the simple life, but it just got a little harder (pun possibly intended) because they can no longer afford their mortgage. The movie centers on the story of how the family drums up the money in order to save the farm.

Here are some highlights:

Big hillbilly Johnboy decides he has to leave because he can’t work for nothing, though he the three women convince him it is worthwhile to stay. Really they are just horny as hell and need a cock inside them. A four-gy in the hay takes place, and while that’s cool enough, it’s amazing this dimwitted doofus knows what to do, but he does.

All good movies need an evil banker. The evil banker in this flick, Dastardly Don Juan, comes the next morning to collect the mortgage, but he grants the clan a reprieve because he is in love with Ma Belle. Should she be unable to come up with the money by the next day, however, he insists he’ll take what’s left of her virtue and then take her hand in marriage.

Now in dire straits, the women plan a bank heist, but are disappointed to find out when they arrive that it has already been knocked over by the murderous Billy the Kid (Eric Edwards) and his sidekick Snake (Joey Silvera). The smooth-talking Billy infiltrated the bank by infiltrating Don Juan’s daughter, Sweet Polly (Arcadia Lake), and promising to marry her. Arcadia is sexy as hell with her small tits, long nipples and full bush. In true six gun style Billy fires several shots of cum up her back and onto her ass after fucking her, then bolts with the cash. Like Billy says, all you need to score easy money is charm, personality, good looks and a big dick. Check. Check. Debatable. Check.

The boys take refuge at the girls homestead thinking it to be deserted. When the girls arrive back at home after the heist fail, they find that the now drunk and loud scofflaws have become best pals with Johnboy. But instead of feeling angry, the women are smitten with the outlaws and a deal is struck. The boys will help the women financially if they can permanently hideout at their residence.

After a night of fucking, including Billy in a threesome with Candi and Andi, and Snake with Randi, Don Juan is back for his money the following morning. He gets his payment, but in the spirit of his “Dastardly” name, he promptly decides to extort more from them to make up for the money he and his bank lost in the heist.

The gang and the women decide to go into the whoring business to save the house and the old place becomes the Pussycat Ranch. Every good guy, ruffian, and tweener comes to the locale for fun and excitement. The money rolls in, though Don Juan still has a little score to settle with Billy for “fornicating with his bank and then fornicating with his daughter.” Not knowing he and the women are in cahoots, he tracks down Billy at the ranch. At this point, the big showdown takes place. Does Billy get back the money back Don Juan stole, which Billy stole from Don in the first place, or does he get shot down in a blaze of glory? You’ll have to watch to find out.

Films like this are a perfect example of the divide between what was and what is in pornography. While the fucking is not at all as brutal and demented as is the current crop of titles, this movie and others of the era really tried to write semi-legitimate scripts with true entertainment value. You’ll see lots of pratfalls and Vaudevillian-style humor in this one, cheesy sound-effects, a talking horse and even a Jean-Michel Jarre “Oxygene” ripoff as part of the soundtrack.

Don’t get us wrong, the sex is still appealing, especially if you’re into the old-school natural look featuring big bush and backs free of tramp stamps. The variety of cum shots could also be considered much more appealing than in today’s films, with a lot more body shots: ass, belly, back, tits and pussy. It’s not all face all the time. It could be argued the variety more than makes up for the limited number of positions as do the sensual ways in which the women of this era handled blowjob duties.

Pussycat Ranch is fun and silly and a nice break from the seriousness of today’s porn. Take a look and see what you think. With a box cover that resembles the Cannonball Run art of decades past, how can you go wrong?

Stars:   Arcadia Lake Samantha Fox Heather Young Roger Caine Allstyne Von Busch Daisy Mae Madison Deputy Dan Molly Malone Richard Bolla Don Peterson Joey Silvera Eric Edwards

Running Time:   92 minutes

Released:   10/1978

Studio Name:   Cal Vista Classic

Director:   John Christopher