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May 09 2011

Personal Services

What could you accomplish in an hour? Well, you might be able to get a new pair of eye glasses. You could take a siesta. You could possibly even complete a dinner at a moderately-priced restaurant. With 100% certainty, however, you could take some time and watch the Cal Vista Classic “Personal Services”.

Clocking in at 59 minutes, this truncated burst of sexual mischief has it all: good looking women, disco bush, John Holmes and a devious little plot with crossing and double-crossing. It’s a great way to while away the time while you’re at the car repair shop or waiting for your quiche to rise.

Poor ol’ Ronnie Forbish (Peter Boil) hasn’t had sex in an extraordinarily long time, when he sees the following ad:

 

Challenge!

The Queen of Sex

Challenges All Comers

I will take on anyone …

And make him holler AUNT.

Interesting terms.

Call HO – 0 – 0690

 

Immediately, he thinks it might be his ticket to fulfillment. After arranging a meeting, he arrives on location and meets Connie Krumpert, a gorgeous strumpet who calls herself the Queen of Sex. They small talk, share a drink and then Connie gets down to business. Her sex challenge states that each party agrees to sex-by-the-minute at a rate of $5 per. Whosoever outlasts the other one receives the spoils.

After a five-minute warm-up session consisting of a long blowjob and some pussy eating, the battle begins. The balding, mutton-chopped  Ronnie drives his pre-sucked cock into Connie’s lovely hairy bush, but his first round is relatively short-lived. He pulls out and Connie strokes his cock gently, luring the cum onto her abdomen.

Now, it would seem that, on the surface, Connie is using alcohol and foreplay as an unfair advantage, but the fact that Ronnie hasn’t been laid in weeks appears to bode well for him. Besides, a dude that looks like him should probably store up sex with beauties like Connie as a camel would with water because there’s no telling when the chance might come around again. Connie is a beauty for sure, sporting long, flowing trusses of hair, firm abs, perfectly hung tits and a nice ass. Her milky white skin and neatly trimmed pubic mane add the ideal level of nostalgia to the luscious 1970s look that was all the rage at the time and still might be for those of you longing for a return to a much more natural porn star look.

Connie exits the proceedings to do some “girlie things” and comes back for more, but it’s not Connie. It’s her identical twin sister Claire, unbeknownst to Ronnie and all the other men who have taken their bogus challenge. Ronnie thinks nothing of it, popping his nut over and over again after so much time away from the thrill. He loses track of time in the process, forgetting that surrender will cost him big time. It’s tough to fault him, though. Any guy would lose himself and his cock in pussy that hot. Unfortunately, he caves like all the rest, running up a ghastly tab of $375, which in today’s currency is more like a million dollars. While his head is too busy thinking about getting fucked, his other, more logical head has the sneaking suspicion he really got fucked.

Dejected and broke, Ronnie visits the local watering hole to have a drink when he meets a well-hung sailor by the name of B.C. Buzzard (John Holmes). B.C. sports a 14-inch dick (give or take) and can easily get his junk sucked just by pulling it out. The problem is, as he claims, no one, not even drink whore, Cute Ass (Daphne Bliss),will fuck it. Because B.C. has been out at sea for three months, Ronnie suggests a ruse to get back at the Queen of Sex.

Will Ronnie get his money back or will B.C. fall victim to the sisters’ even financial scheme just like all the others? Take a gander at Personal Services and find out. Feel free to watch it from end to end. Your load of laundry is sure to be dry when you are finished.

 

Stars:   Cyndee Summers Amore Pertuti Claire Krumpert Connie Krumpert Daphne Bliss Peter Boll John Holmes

Categories: Classic All Sex 70’s Gold

Running Time:   59 minutes

Released:   01/1975

Studio Name:   Cal Vista Classic

Director:   Michael Minghia